Ecstasy

Stupidity is Contagious

Tapping my fingers against my knees continuously, I looked up at the ceiling, biting my lower lip, thinking of what to say next to rid the awkward atmosphere. It was choking me.

I looked at Ashley across the room, her computer on the table as she sat in front of it with a book in her hand and a small notebook on the side. Clearly she was feeling the atmosphere too. But earlier, when I just came in, she went and grabbed this junk from her bedroom, to probably find a way of not talking to me.

But I wondered why she did not just leave me alone in the room. Obviously she didn't think I was capable of stealing, right?

However, jokes aside, the place did have quite an amusing decor.

"Nice place you've done for yourself", I heard myself say, realizing that you never had to force a question, just let it flow. Why was I even feeling anxious around her? We were married. This was not goddamn Bollywood.

"Thanks. Though I can't compare it to the decor you did back home... at your house, I mean", she ended, clearing her throat and looking back at her work, her face turning pink with embarrassment. I didn't know why she felt ashamed for calling our home home.

"It's not a home without you, just a big quiet building", I murmured looking straight at her, she lifted her head, meeting my eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but it was either she was speechless or I became deaf. I knew it wasn't the latter because the expression on her face was already in awe.

So, I added. "When are you coming back home, Ashley?"

"Never. How many times should I spell it to you?" She squinted her eyes. But I knew that wasn't true, I still had hope, even though it was as small as a little speck of sand. However, it was still hope.

"You don't mean that. I love you—"

"Jesus Christ Dominic—"

"You love me".

"Not anymore", she quickly responded, looking at me straight in the eyes. As much as that hurt, just like she cut my chest open, pulled my heart out, stomped on it and gave it back, I didn't believe her. Who was she to decide when to stop loving me? Love was not something you could decide to feel or not whenever you were in the mood. Sinner or not, it chose you.

Her making it look like she decided when to stop loving me made me realize just how much she loved me truly. It was normal to hate someone for loving them.

"Then why are we still married?" A simple question as that, was even more evidence for the feelings she still had towards me. She gulped deeply, looking at the floor, putting her book aside and folding her arms before looking back up at me.

"You're right, why am I still married to you?" Sarcasm was written all over her face. Her voice held regret.

She regretted marrying me...

That I had no way of trying to twist and comforting myself. It was what it was.

"I'm all ready!" A sharp female voice said from the stairs. We turned our heads to only see Stephanie, skipping down the stairs with her little bows, dressed in a fine floral dress and shoes. She looked so adorable I could abduct her from her mother right away.

"Awww, you look so beautiful honey", Ashley stood to her feet, walking towards her daughter and carrying her into her arms. Molly was just behind her, she looked at me and shook her head, a way of greeting, which I returned.

"Where are we going mommy? Aunt Molly wouldn't tell me", she looked up at her mother before turning her head towards me as I stood behind Ashley, standing across the room and watching them patiently.