Listens to Memories | Voiceless Duology 2 | COMPLETED

Kabanata 79

Take over

The next morning, I woke up with a heavy heart but I can't tell anyone. I can't excuse myself from everything. I feel the obligations heat my skin as soon as the sun kissed it.

I have to endure another day, making myself believe that I am fine. I have to work, socialize, go out, fix something, and many more. I have to do the things I don't have the will to fulfill.

But nevertheless, there's nothing I can change. I'm living my entire existence carrying a heavy heart without any word anyway-I'm getting used to being not okay. And I hate it more than anyone could know.

Calix's letter is slowly eating me up. I don't know this feeling and I'm not familiar, but all I can say is I hate this. I hate every single little thing about it. Na sa tuwing ipipikit ko ang mga mata ko, naririnig ko ang boses niya habang sinasabi ang mga nakasaad sa sulat na 'yon.

And it's not helping me. Ang sakit-sakit. Para akong dinudurog na naman. Para na naman akong nalulunod at hindi malaman kung paano pag makakaahon muli.

Tamad akong bumaba mula sa kuwarto dahil ramdam kong nagugutom na ako. As much as I want to skip meals, I couldn't because I'm pregnant and I don't want something to happen to my babies anymore. Hinding-hindi ko na mapapatawad ang sarili ko.

Nadatnan ko sa kitchen si Kiel na kasalukuyang nagluluto. Nakatalikod ito sa direksyon ko. He's wearing an apron above his white shirt and sweat pants. Bakas na bakas sa damit niya ang bato-batong likuran niya maging ang biceps niya. Kahit nakatalikod ay nananatiling guwapo ito. Which I doubt it would change. Lalo pa ngang dumadagdag ang kaguwapuhan nito sa bawat araw.

Tahimik ko itong nilapitan at niyakap siya mula sa likuran niya. Saglit siyang natigilan sa ginagawa and the next thing I knew, he's now in front of me, facing me. Tumingala ako upang salubungin ang tingin niya.

"Hey . . ." He uttered in his raspy voice which made me smile.

"Hey," I replied to him. "What are you doing?"

Kumislap ang mga mata nito dahil sa malawak na ngiti niya. He's staring at me as if he's memorizing every little inch of my face which I love to see every single day. Iyon ang tinging gustong-gusto ko sa kaniya.

"Husband duties?" He chuckled.

Ramdam ko ang pag-init ng buong mukha ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Humigpit ang hawak niya sa baywang ko. Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi ko nang halikan niya ako sa noo.

"You're great at doing that, huh? Saan ka nag practice?" Pang-aasar ko sa kaniya at humiwalay na.

Naupo ako sa high chair na naroon sa kitchen counter at pinagmasdan lamang siyang ipagpatuloy ang ginagawa niya. I somehow miss him on stage. Iyong may hawak na gitara sa harap ng mic stand at kumakanta. I'm sure he misses it more than I do. That's why he is trying to get his old life before and wants a come back. Which I think is good.

"I wanna hear your voice again," I uttered.

Kunot-noo siyang lumingon sa 'kin at naghanda na ng dalawang plato. He's done cooking I guess.

"We're now living together in the same roof. You meant my moan, right?" Sagot niya kaya halos batuhin ko siya dahil baka may makarinig sa amin.

Humalakhak lang ang lintik na si Kiel.

"Stop-"

"Well, I can let you hear it later if you want to-"

"Oh, God, Kiel. Stop it. That's not what I meant." Putol ko sa sasabihin niya. Halos sumabog na ang ulo ko dahil sa kahihiyan.