Stubborn and the Mutt

three | friend

She blinks once, twice and the third time I feel is just for emphasis on either how stunned she is, or possibly how disinterested she is. Either way, the silence she allows to fill between us is thick, heavy and quite frankly, I have to gulp as I allow her time to gather her thoughts. She then runs her hands through her ginger hair mane as she takes in an audible deep breath before exhaling, glancing away for a good moment.

"I don't know whether to laugh and say I told you so, or hug you so tight because that idiot is literally the biggest idiot."

I sigh, glancing away from her and towards the open field of fat trees and evergreen bushes. The landscape is amazing, and quite frankly, I think my parents made the best decision moving here a few years ago — we have the best sunset. Sunrise, though, it's not exactly the best during winter. My room is always cold in the winter mornings.

What's nice is the neighbours get to share this view too. We could walk into that forest starting not too far from where Andrea and I have ourselves seated on the grass, but apparently it's advised we don't, just for the sake of our own safety and the lack of knowledge in regards to what may be lurking in the forest after sunset.

"I should also be mad at you that it took you two months to tell me this."

Andrea Bogdanov. My best friend and technically my mentor because for some reason, a lot of what she says makes sense. She's almost like an old woman in a young body. An old soul. And she stands out a lot; ginger hair she loves to keep in a bun or in curls, and her green eyes that just makes perfect sense. I once thought she was wearing contact lenses.

"Yah, I know, and I'm sorry. You were literally on holiday and I didn't want to bombard you with my own issues. I just thought it would be best for you to come back first before." I mutter, rubbing my thighs nervously.

"For the first day of uni? Your timing is off, bestie."

I sigh, lifting my eyes back at her. "I know. I know. I'm sorry."

She settles properly besides me as we look over at the landscape, as much as the large trees would allow us. "So... things have ended between you guys? Officially?"

"Yah."

We sit in comfortable silence, but I'm sure both of minds run miles per hour, busy with variety of thoughts hitting the mental wall per second. To be fair, she did tell me not to entertain him. She did tell me not to be with Banele, that he didn't seem that serious to be in a relationship. But when a week turned to a month, which turned to three months, I second guessed her worries and thought she was being overprotective.

Guess she was right. I'm not ready to be in a relationship. I have my own issues to deal with first, before I entertain another boy.

Another useless male.

I sigh, fingers grazing against the grass lightly as I wait for my friend to voice out her thoughts. Meanwhile, my mind takes me back to him, that boy I saw on New Years. The night he oh so gently begged to take me home. The night he literally forced his lips against mine. Yeah I did slap him across the face, and I made sure he felt it in his core.

"So he just... broke up with you? For no reason?"

"He said he didn't think him and I would last. That I was stubborn and I never listened to him, and I made his life difficult. Stubborn this, stubborn that. He blamed me for a lot." I glance at her. "It hurt, you know?"

"How come?"

I've been called stubborn for as long as I can remember, from the people close to me. Being called stubborn from others is just annoying and makes it seem as though I really am stubborn when in actuality... I am but I don't want to also admit it.