Stubborn and the Mutt

twenty | the feeling, again

Andrea rubs my shoulder, humming lightly as she rocks me a bit. "It will be okay, Gert."

"I am being dramatic, aren't I?" I mutter, wiping my cheeks as I look up at Andrea.

"Not at all. I would also cry. He's so annoying." She scoffs. "He is such an ass. He literally broke up with you, why is he making you feel worse?"

"It's ridiculous!" I hiss, wiping my cheeks again as I force myself to stop shedding tears. "Why am I crying because of him?"

"Because it impacted you and you are still healing." Andrea reasons.

I scoff, shaking my head, sobbing a bit.

How annoying, actually. I can't even believe. Banele, the ass that he is, came out of nowhere and started shaming me. Out of nowhere! I was having a lovely Monday morning and he came out of nowhere and made my life hell. He just came and reminded me that I am stubborn, that he did good breaking up with me because I am the toxic one.

It's even more annoying that I'm the one who ended up crying. Like baby. A broken hearted baby.

"Don't cry, Gert." Andrea sighs softly, pulling away from me and lifting my head up.

"I just don't understand. I was a nice person to him. The best girlfriend I could possibly be. I tried by all means to make sure he was happy, Drea. I-I did so much for him, so why? Why does he not even care? Like he doesn't even have to, like, be around me and stuff but at least to treat me like I'm a normal human being with feelings. Like, is it so much to ask for? Instead of asking where he went wrong, he asks me where I went wrong? Did I go wrong somewhere?"

"Listen to me, okay? You're hurting, and he is adding salt to the wound. It's normal to feel this way, but it's ridiculous for him to think he can just rock up out of nowhere and drag you back to the same place. He is miserable and obviously wants you to be miserable with him. He probably sees that there's a glow about you, and that you're moving forward and he doesn't like that. It's okay to cry. I've seen you cry about the most stupid thing, so this is far from ridic, bestie." We both chuckle at that. "You're hurting, and it's okay to hurt. It's been two months, not twenty years. It's going to take time especially because you really liked him."

"So why doesn't he see it that way?"

"He's a silly boy." She scoffs. "Let me just catch him. I'll give him a piece of my mind. He's actually starting to annoy me."

I sigh loudly, wiping my face of tears once again and then wiping them on my skirt. "I'll get over him. I will. But it's taking so long."

"You can't rush it." She sighs. "Plus, you have Micah, now."

I chuckle, looking at her with wet eyes. "He's literally young for me, you know?"

"Never hurt to be with somebody younger than you."

"I guess." I mutter. "I need to go to the bathroom. I don't want people to see my broken heart evident on my face."

Andrea nods, taking hold of my hand and walking me to the restroom. My head is lowered so I don't cause or attract attention. My hand even holds onto hers tightly. I love Drea, and I love this about her. She's overly caring, and sometimes I think she'd get tired of me.

I've put her through a lot, as a friend. She's watched me break down one too many times, that maybe I've started becoming such a baggage to her. Emotionally, at least. The fear of losing her as a friend is real, and I sometimes think I just might, one day, with how much of an emotional wreck I've been for the past four years.

First my mum and sister dying, then me having to be the grown up for a while so my dad could heal. Dealing with all of that was a lot, and many times did Drea have to talk me out of depression and make me realise there's more to life. And then I get in a relationship with Banele, even after she warned me, and now she's here consoling me.