Stubborn and the Mutt

one | new year's

You know that saying, 'calm before the storm'? Yeah... yeah.

Ready? Set? Go.

***

Stupid. So frikken stupid. Crying over a whole boy, who promised I'd never shed a single tear because of him. Now look at me, stupidly looking over this dangerously high balcony, shedding lumps of tears because he did exactly what he assured me he would never do.

The sound of the blasting music drowns the wails escaping my lips every other second. I know I am ugly crying and if any caring human being could look up and stop the fun they are having just for a moment, maybe they would give me some sort of comfort. My hand raises to my mouth to cover up my sounds uselessly, and I squeeze my eyes shut and lean away from the glass railing.

My wet eyelids pull apart, and I glance at the small gleaming diamond ring on my ring finger, blinking back at me thanks to the illuminating lights of this party. My purity ring, holding little to no meaning after giving myself to the boy who promised me the world. It's useless wearing it, now that I've done exactly what I said I would never do. I said I would save myself, but instead, I let a boy convince me that him and I were forever. That what him and I would be doing in secret would remain between us for the rest of our lives. That I'd no longer be wearing a diamond ring signifying my purity, but instead he would get me a bigger ring that would prove to the world that I am his as he is mine.

How stupid of me to listen to a boy. A whole male. They are all the same, and if I didn't know it before, I surely do now.

"Stupid. S—so... so stupid." I hiss, banging the palm of my head against my forehead before standing up straight. The back of both hands wipe away my tears in vain, as more tears slip down my cheeks once more. I then grip the small ring before twisting it, trying to get it off my finger, when I hear a clearing of a throat not too far behind me.

There walks a guy. A male. He lifts the red cup of which I am sure is filled with alcohol to his lips, taking a sip as he walks to the glass railing, standing a good few steps away from me. My body freezes. I'm not sure whether or not to be embarrassed of my wet face. My hand grips on the ring finger, and I blink back away from him and look at the crowd of older teenagers, young adults and a good handful of older adults chanting along the music blasting through the big speakers right in the front where the DJ spins his discs.

I swallow my hiccups, holding my breath so I don't sniff in air and make it beyond obvious I am crying.

"Crying in the club. The irony." He says, and I glance at him in time to see him take another sip of his alcohol.

My lips are pressed closed and I gulp. What does he know about crying in the club? This isn't even a club, to begin with. I know he's stupid as well. Aren't they all? One of his own kind proved it today.

I hear him chuckle this time. "Oh. My bad. Didn't know you're deaf."

The irritation bubbles inside of me. Before I can will myself to completely avoid him and his kind, I turn to glare at him with wet, narrowed eyes and I grit my jaw. Even still, as I try come off intimidating, the tears still willingly fall down my cheeks, so I lift my left hand and wipe them away aggressively. "Didn't know I was obligated to speak to jerks. My bad."

"Jerks?" He turns his face towards me, eyebrow raised.

"You heard me."

He hums, taking a sip as he looks back at the crowd. I take this time to analyse the audacity not too far from me. A black fitting short sleeve that reveals his biceps. I won't boost his ego and say that they are big, but it's quite obvious he lifts weight or something. He wears dark grey jeans; kind of tight and hugs his thighs really nice. No, not nicely, I hate how they look. They look ugly.