"Kat.." That was the first I said her name out loud in years. I hung my head low. I usually keep my feeling to myself, but there was always a weak spot for her in my heart. I watched her curl on the couch as I stood in front of her. "I loved you.." I stated low enough for her just to hear it. She did not budge. I ran my fingers through my hair and moved closer to her. As I was standing in front of her, I reached my hand out and grazed her cheek with my thumb. She flinched at my touch and it broke me.
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"Neil, please leave." I shook my head and stayed calm. I wish she could understand. I had to make her understand.
"I remember a time when you would go weak from my touch. Begging for more. I miss those days." I smile softly.
"That was a long time ago, I'm not the same person I used to be." She pulled away from me and slowly pushed my hand away. I could tell she was trying to be gentle. I could tell she knew my actions could change in a split second. I didn't want this to be one of those moments.
"I know. You are mother now. The mother to my son." I got on my knees and pulled her legs away from her chest, she was so tense. I rubbed her tights slowly as all the memories that I tried so hard to block out, came rushing back. I closed my eyes, just taking in this moment. I kept one hand on her tight and the other made it's way to the back on her neck. I pulled her close. "I could never thank you enough for being his mother." It was like I had no control over my brain. "Please, this time I am asking. Let me be in his life." I kiss her check gently and slowly made my way to her neck. She never moved a muscle. "I know you still have love for me," I kissed her neck once more.
I could feel her body loosen from my kiss, she placed both of her hands on my chest. Eventually, her hands were wrapped about my neck and she leaned in to whisper, "You will never meet my son." I froze there as I was centimeters away from her skin. I knew that shit was never going to happen.
"One more kiss," I pull out to the crook of her neck but stayed close. I made eye contact with her before slowly leaning in. "Just one more, please." She rejected me. "Kat, please. I will leave. Just give me one last kiss." I could tell the hesitation coming off her. But she shortly nodded and waited for me. I grabbed the back of her knees and pulled her into my body. If I was being honest, I would love one more night with her.
I put my hand back behind her neck again and inched my way closer to her lips, "I do still love you Kat." I whisper before placing my lips against hers. It was like both of our bodies melted into each other's. With my hand behind her neck, I was able to pull her deeper into the kiss. I was able to hear a small moan slip from her as I asked for entrance with sliding my tongue on her bottom lip. It worked, our tongues fought against each other's. Soon enough, we were making out right there. Her hands made its way to my hair and I grunt into the kiss from her touch.
"Neil- woah! Thought baby was all for me!" I slowly pulled away from her sweet lips and looked down at her thighs. Fucking Jesse. She let go of me and it was like I was being ripped away from her once again.
"Kat, I'm sorry." I couldn't meet her eyes. "Where is he?"
"Neil, you said you would leave-"
"You know I can't do that. I need a location." I shook my head. Neither one of us moved. "Kat, I would never hurt him."
I finally build the courage to make eye contact once she places her delicate hand on my cheek. "Please, don't take him from me."
"Just let me see him and I won't have too." I beg her with my eyes. "You will be with us the whole time"
"What are you going to do with Josh?" I sighed and stayed silent. "Neil?"
"You know what I have to do." She shook her head.
"He doesn't know you're his dad. He thinks Josh is, you can't take him from his dad." It was like she was stabbing me in the chest every time she said Josh was his dad.
"I'm his dad, not Josh." She nodded and bit her bottom lip. "Tell me."
"I have to pick him up. I will only let this happen if nothing happens to Josh."
I didn't hesitate, "Fine."
"Yo, Neil! That wasn't our deal!" I stood up facing Jesse.
"Deals off," I push him towards the hall way and followed him. "The deals off, for now." I could see him getting frustrated. "Watch her." I walk to the room where Trevor and Josh were. I walk past a small room and stand in the door way. It was full of hot wheels, transformers, and learning activities. I felt the pit of my stomach ache. I could tell Kat took good care of him.
I walk in and see Josh sitting on the bed. He went to charge at me but Trevor held him back. I roll my eyes at the pathetic attempt. I could barely look at him, what he did to the club, what he did behind my back.
"Today is your lucky day, cut him free." Trevor raised his eyebrows and did as told.
"Where's Kat?" Josh stepped in my face. All I did was laugh.
"You're walking on thin ice." I pushed his chest. "I haven't forgotten what you've done. I swear to god, if it wasn't for Kat, you would be dead right now! I don't care what kind of relationship y'all are in but I will make her mine."
