Three Years Ago
I was walking down the street around 9 at night. I was walking back to my hotel I was staying at. I felt pail, white. I haven't been feeling good the past few days. I haven't gotten a job nor any friends. I wanted to try to stay low for now until I know this is where I want to stay. I saved a lot of money, Jeremy also gave me some because he did owe me it from the past. He always gave me my money back.
That's when I start thinking about Jeremy. I walk down the street feeling weak, like a coward. I left. I ran. Just like everyone else in my life. I cross the street when the sign shows a all white person walking. But once I cross I stop and stand there from my vision getting blurry. I was crying on the side walk of some random town in Washington. People passed my side but didn't bother to ask if I was okay. I would've said that I was fine even though I really wasn't.
I place my hands on my face to cover myself. Why? I felt like people were staring, so many people were out tonight. That's when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, it felt like Neil's.
"Kat?" It was a familiar voice, god such a familiar voice. I couldn't put my finger on it though. Maybe it was nobody. Maybe it was my mind making me think someone is there because honestly, I did want someone to stop and ask if I was okay. I thought my mind was playing tricks on me until I kept hearing the voice, "Kat. Kat!" That's when my hands where thrown to my side and I saw the face to the voice. I couldn't believe my eyes.
"Josh.." He gave his smile and hugged me tight. I gripped his shirt crying into it, I was still crying. He looked at me with his arms still around my waist.
He whispered, "You're pregnant." I just nod then he gave that smile. "Is it his?" I couldn't answer that but somehow I did. I nod once again. He hugged me again then backed away. "What are you doing here Kat? You're too far from home. Why are you crying?" What was home? I didn't have a home. Was it South Dakota? North Dakota? New York? Or even Washington? I simply did not know.
"I miss him Josh. I missed you too. Where the hell were you? No one told me what happened, no one told me where you went." He tilted his head at an angle. He took my hand and started to walk, I didn't know where too. I didn't bother to ask, I trusted Josh.
He took me to a 24 hour restaurant. He picked where we sat, which was in the back in a booth by the windows. This way we could see the whole inside this way. I stopped crying, just dried tears. Nowadays I don't even bother with makeup. I use to put mascara on my blonde eyelashes but I would wash it off with my tears so their was no point anymore.
"Coffee for the both of you?" The waitress asked before doing a double take and seeing my stomach. "Oh I take you want water?" I didn't say a thing.
"She'll take water, I'll have coffee ma'am. Thank you." He smiles at her but my face stayed blank.
"Oh a man with manners. You better lock him down quick before I do." She winked at me. "Y'all make a cute couple. I'll be right back sweethearts." Josh smiled to be polite. But his face dropped when she left.
"I left because of all the shit that happened Kat. I know you only met him once but Ty-..." He stopped. He couldn't say his name, I didn't even know what he was taking about. Josh looked down at his hands on the table. "My best friend died by the hands of our biggest enemy at the time. I didn't want to die and I couldn't have another one of my brothers die. They probably did. I have no idea what happened once I left. I just lost my friend from childhood, I couldn't lose another." His voice was getting weaker and weaker. "I'm sorry. I should have told you cause we were just as close as you and Trevor. Neil was just wasting our men. He didn't care about Tyler or me nor anyone else in the club. I'm surprised he has not found a way to find me."
"Here is your drinks. Anything to eat?" He shook his head and once again the lady was gone.
"I needed to save myself. I want a family, I want my own life to live. Now, I'm going to ask again. Why are you so far away from home? From Neil?"
"He's in prison. I haven't seen him." This was the first time I opened up about this topic. Why was it to Josh and not Trevor? Maybe cause Trevor was there for it all and Josh wasn't. He wasn't even surprised that I just told him. "He wouldn't let me see him, not even once. I miss him.." I took a deep breath. "I left too.. My brother got into drugs and I was held a gun point, they almost killed my baby. There was a high chance I could have lost him. I had too. Just like you." He nodded, he didn't freak out like Trevor. "What are the chances I could have ran into you." I actually did smile along with him.
"Where are you staying Kat?" I shrug.
"In a hotel."
"Stay with me. I don't want you to be alone. Not while you're pregnant." I nod not even putting up a fight with Joshua knowing he'll win either way. That's when Josh tipped the lady and we left.
Josh took me too his place. Not to have sex or mess around but he simply did care for me. He made his bed for me then made his couch for himself. He had a one bed room apartment. It was pretty small but that's all he needed for himself I guess.
"I missed you Josh." He helped me into the bed and covered me up.
"I missed you too, Kat."
