We walked in silence. It felt like days. I checked my phone and it was 4:30 a.m, I was tired and weak. My legs felt like jello and my eyes felt heavy. Jesse could tell.
"We've been walking for awhile. I know your apartment is around here." I roll my eyes and don't say a word. "Neil. You aren't the only one who is tired."
"Why don't you just keep walking. We don't have to talk you know?"
"Neil, I've been locked up for more than 10 years with no outside contact. Besides, what else do we have to do? Come on brother." He placed his hand on my shoulder again. There was that cold feeling.
"Fine. What did you want to talk about?" I roll my eyes.
"Tell me about your baby mama."
"No." I said sternly.
"Come on. If I'm going to track her down I need to know about her. It's an important part of my work. If it wasn't going to be asked now, I would've asked when the time came. I need to know." I suppose he was right. He did need to know about Kat.
"What do you need to know about her?" He smirked.
"I need to know your story with her. Why did it end?"
I took a minute, "I went to prison." I let out a small laugh, "for a long time too. Years. And while I was in there or at least for almost the first year I didn't see her. She came nearly everyday." I look down at my feet. "Damn. I turned her down every time the guard came to tell me-"
"What did you get charged for?"
"I killed Andy."
It was dead silence. He was shocked. "Holy shit.." he came to a stop. "You killed your own brother? I mean I always hated the dude but Jesus. Why?"
"I don't want to say why. That's not important here. What's important is getting Kat and my child."
"Oh so she has a name now? What else happened between you two?" I bit my lip.
"Well, I promised her a lot. I said I wouldn't cheat on her. I cheated on her. I said I wouldn't lay a finger on her. I struck her. I asked her to wait for me but then I didn't see her once. God knows what happened to her while I was locked up. But when I found out she had my kid.. I don't know. Something just snapped on the inside. Who was she to decide I wasn't fit to raise my own kid? God! She just makes me so angry! I can't believe her! I just want her gone!" I heard Jesse laugh.
"That's where I come into the picture. I might be a snake, but Neil, just for you buddy, I will find her for you. I will bring you to your kid and I will make sure Kat will never be around to see your child grow up." I stare at him. I wanted her gone but I wasn't sure if I actually wanted this. What if all the love I had for her came rushing back. What if the love I have for her is so strong it lets me forgive her for what she did? I know she still loves me. And I know my love is still real for her.
"Jesse," he looked at me. "What do you plan on doing with her?" He walked forward and put his hands in his leather jacket.
"You let me worry about that Westfall." Before I open my mouth again he goes on, "looks like you brought us to your place after all" I look up and notice this whole time I changed routes and took up to my apartment by mistake.
"Shit." I put my hand on my right hip and rub my eyes with my left hand. I was too tired for this.
"I'm pretty tired Westfall. Let's just crash here until I'm able to get to a computer. I told you I would find her but a criminal needs rest too." I shrug and start walking to the door knowing he's right. He normally always is.
I kicked my shoes off and threw my phone on the couch. I grab a blanket and pillow from the spare room I had.
"What are you doing? Aren't I sleeping in there?" I smile at him and open my hallway walk-in closet. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"This is where you are sleeping." His face froze and he looked at me dumbfounded.
"You're kidding right?" I throw the pillow and blanket in there and go lock my bedroom, the spare bedroom, and the bathroom.
"There. If you were to break out of this closet, you will have no choice but to go out the front door. And I will be here, sleeping on the couch. So any noise you make I will be able to hear you."
"You're crazy." I chuckle. It was ironic how he was the one saying that. I stood in front of the closet waiting for him. He grunted, "I thought you could trust me now buddy. I'm finding your family for you." I gave him a look. "Neil-"
"I'll feed you back to the sharks Jesse and this time they won't keep you alive for another 10 years." I could tell he knew I was right. I don't know what it was like in that tiny room for so lone but I could imagine it wasn't too perfect if he was willing to come to me. He crept up to me. He stared at me then make a kissy noise while squeezing my arm. I pulled back my arm waiting for him to get in. He slide into the closet. We watched each other while I starting to close the door. I put a key in the handle and turned it to the right.
Just as I was walking away I heard Jesse whisper, "See you on the other side Neil." I didn't know what that meant or what was going to happen. I was stressed and really needed to reflex. I sat on the couch and opened the tiny box in middle of the coffee table. I pulled out a wrap and pinched a good amount of pot. I placed it on the wrap, rolled it up, licked it shut, and lit it up. It was a medium size blunt. Nowadays this was my only escape.
Once I was done smoking, I placed my hand on my head running my fingers through my hair. I needed a shower and new clothes. I couldn't manage to make it to stand. I shrugged it away starting to lay on the couch. It was an old brown couch. It had cigarette burns and left over pot crumbs. Honestly, it was about time I got a new one but I was barely home. I normally slept at the clubhouse. I didn't want to be in a small apartment without another person. Someone I could wake up to and fall asleep to at night. Someone to eat, shower, and play with. While I was thinking about everything you would normally do with a person, I realized I was lonely. That's when I started thinking about Kat. I wanted someone like her again. A real relationship. And that's when I realized I didn't want just some random person, I wanted her. I wanted Kat.
