The Wrong Brother

Chapter 32 - I don't push her away

I can't help but feel extremely confused with everything that just happened.

I don't know how to deal with my emotions, I don't even know how I actually feel for christ sake and I definitely don't know if I should just forget it happened or keep overthinking about it.

I will probably overthink, because that's what I do about everything.

Trying to keep my feelings under control, I make my way to the cafeteria, looking for Lilly.

I want to tell her what happened, I desperately need to talk to someone and well, get my shit together, as Bennett said.

He's so right.

It's not fair to him, it's not fair to me and especially, it's not fair to Dylan. Kissing his brother once was wrong, but it was a mistake. Today was also a mistake but it was a conscious one, which makes me a terrible girlfriend.

So I know I need to break up with him, even if I don't know if that's what I want, but I'm not a bad person, who would simply kiss someone else and continue dating like nothing happened. I did this the first time, but like I said, it was an honest mistake.

Today was different.

I know what I have to do, but right now, all I want to do is cry.

I hate feeling like this and being so confused pisses me off.

As I'm walking from room to room looking for Lilly and not paying attention to the art anymore, I spot her.

I almost trip over myself when I see that Lilly is not alone. It takes me a while to recognize that it's Harris who is with her and they are... wait a second, what the hell are they doing?

They are... oh my god, they are kissing. Like, really, romantically kissing.

On top of my messed up feelings, I don't know whether to feel extremely excited for her or kind of hurt that she didn't tell me anything about them.

Not that I even know what's going on between them, all I know is that they are locking lips in the middle of the not so empty room, so anyone can see.

I watch them in their exchange and even after they pull away, he plays with her hair and she giggles. He then leans forward and kisses her forehead, almost getting an 'awww' from me.

It looks so romantic.

Well, at least someone is having a romantic moment.

How long has this been going on if he's already giving her forehead kisses? Like, I consider this gesture quite intimate.

Lilly playfully hits him on the arm after he whispers something in her ear and they go their separate ways.

I immediately go after her and I pull her arm so we can go to a place with less music and lights.

"Is there something you wanna tell me?" I drag her to the coffee shop, where we can have a decent conversation.

"Uhn, like what?" She asks, innocently.

"Like you and Harris kissing in the other room." Her eyes widened. "Weren't you going to tell me?"

"I was going to, I just didn't know how."

"You know what I find funny? You push my buttons to tell you about Bennett and you constantly get mad at me for not telling you things, but you're doing the exact same thing." I say more annoyed than I'd like, putting my hands to my hips.

I'm not sure if I'm truly annoyed or if I'm just taking my frustration out on her.

"I'm sorry, Alex. I wanted to tell you. It's just.... don't take this the wrong way, but you're so overwhelmed with the whole Dylan and Bennett situation and it's all you can think about lately, that I just I didn't find the right time to tell you.'' I consider what she says.