The Wrong Brother

Chapter 42 - I always have (Part I)

Hello Lovely Readers,

I know it's been forever. Things have been busy and I'm truly sorry. We're coming to the end of the story (this book at least) <3

This is a II Parts chapter because there's a lot happening!! I'm excited!

Love always,

Me

........................

"Today is a very special day. We worked hard to get to this precise moment and I want to say that I am very proud of all of you." Mrs. Bergman says as we're all gathered in the backstage of the auditorium going through the final details of the school play.

Well, it's finally here! The play is today. All the hard work from this past year comes to an end today as we're premiering and I couldn't feel more sad.

I mean, I should be excited, I should be enjoying all of this, because being part of the senior's school play has been mine and Lilly's dream since we started high school four years ago and now it's happening.

So I really should be ecstatic with this moment... but how could I be?

Everything is such a mess right now, so I can't help but feel the opposite. I don't know how to act around Bennett, I want to talk to him, but at the same time, his hurtful words keep playing on my mind.

You're not important.

And well, realizing I'm in love with him makes this so much harder.

I wish I could tell him, I wish we could sort all of this and just be together. I mean, he's going across the country and it wouldn't work out anyway, but I wish we could talk.

I just don't know how to make it happen. What should I tell him? "Hey, I know it's all a mess and you don't care about me, but the thing is, I fell in love with you."

What if he just laughs at my face?

I wish I could go back in time and realize my feelings sooner, when he still cared about me. Or well, when I thought he cared about me. When we had time.

I can't forget what Dylan told me about him. Bennett was getting closer to me on purpose, so it's another reason for me to think he never really liked me, right? Why would Dylan lie?

I fit the floor, not paying attention to whatever Mrs. Bergman is saying anymore. It's not like Bennett is across from me on the other side of the circle and all I can do is look at him. At least one of us seems to be paying attention.

To add to all of this, I feel Lilly's eyes burning holes on me as she's trying to get my attention. She's been wanting to talk to me for the past couple of days, but I'm avoiding her.

I just want to be alone to figure out what to do, I guess. It's hard enough with my own thoughts and I know what she's going to say. Something along the lines "stop being an idiot because he loves you, so jump on his bones and kiss him already, for fuck's sake."

She's not wrong... about the jumping on his bones. I definitely want to do that.

Lilly tried pulling me to the side to talk a few times while everyone was still arriving for the play, but she is the star, so she didn't have a minute alone.

"Alex, we need to talk." I nodded, but someone from figurine called her name and she went to try the last outfit. The other time, it was Harris who asked her to go through one of the scenes. Then Mrs. Bergman gathered the actors to do a final reading, so it was impossible to talk, which I'm thankful for.

She looks pissed and concerned with me, so I'm not sure what version of Lilly I'll have to face. I don't even know why she's pissed... What did I do?

As for Bennett, well, he's busy helping Mrs. Bergman with whatever she asked him to do, but I see him looking at me.