Can't You See Me?

fifteen

I've been texting Haerin all weekend trying to apologize for how I was acting. I even called a couple times hoping she would pick up, but she didn't. I was walking through the halls before class hoping to catch Haerin before first period, but I didn't see her, causing me to go to first period in a gloomy mood.

"She still hasn't responded?" Hanni whispers to me as Mrs. Jung was handing our assignment for the day.

"No. I've texted like 100 times and nothing." Hanni just hums as Mrs. Jung walks by trying not to get caught talking.

"Well maybe if you didn't act like an asshole this wouldn't have been a problem." I furrow my eyebrows at the Vietnamese girl. What the hell?

"Whose side are you on?" Hanni scoffs as she begins doing the class' assignment.

"I'm always on your side, Minji, but you need to apologize."

"I did!" I did apologize, right after I said it. Hanni just rolls her eyes at me.

"When you're not drunk. You fucking idiot." I just sigh, not responding. I know she is right, but how am I supposed to apologize when she won't even talk to me?

-

First period finally ended and I was making my way to second when I spotted Haerin talking to Hyein? What in the world could they be talking about? I make my way towards the two younger girls when they completely halt their conversation as I get to them.

"What's going on here?" Haerin looks at the ground and Hyein gives me a giant smile that makes her cheeks rise.

"Just chatting with my new friend!" huh?

"You two are friends?" I point between Haerin and Hyein giving them a curious look. I don't think I've ever seen them talk before now. Also I feel like Haerin would've definitely told me that they were friends.

"Yeah! We have chemistry together!" They do? Haerin doesn't say anything and just continues to look at the ground. God please just look at me at least.

"Well Hyein, could I talk to Haerin alone for a minute?" Hyein just nods before giving Haerin and I a hug then skipping away to wherever she is going. Haerin and I were just standing in silence for a moment. I can't take the silence anymore. "Haerin?" She finally looked up at me with sadness in her eyes. This was not what I was expecting.

"What?"

"I want to apologize for how I was acting on Saturday night. It was wrong of me to say those things. I won't do it again." Haerin's face softened a little bit at my words causing me to sigh inwardly in relief.

"Do you not trust me?" I frown a little bit at her words.

"I trust you?" Haerin just sighs and looks away.

"It didn't feel like that when you said that stuff about me." I look around and the hallway is basically clear at this point since second period is about to start. I grabbed Haerin's hand and she tried to pull away, but I just tightened my grip.

"I'm so sorry Haerin. I was just upset. I just hate with everything in me seeing you two together close. I won't do that again I promise." Haerin finally looks me right in the eye and bites her bottom lip clearly pondering something.

"You say that every time. You say you understand then you act like this. How many more times are you going to do the same thing and apologize?" I retract my hand slowly from the younger girl in confusion. Why is it always one step forward and three steps back with us?

"Haerin this is hard for me. I understand that you have to do this for the time being, but it's not exactly enjoyable seeing the girl I'm with hanging out and being romantic with, with another guy." Haerin just groans before taking a step backwards.