Can't You See Me?

thirty four

Haerin's POV

Hyein left this morning. I was asleep so I couldn't send her off, but I'm glad we settled this weird tension we've been having since last Saturday. I slept for about fifteen hours yesterday so I didn't really see anyone other than Minji trying to get me to eat something and Hyein last night. I tried to eat it, but every time I try to eat something I feel sick. I just don't have an appetite.

I also stopped trying to push everyone away...well at least Minji. I just feel nervous when there are other people in the house besides her or Hyein so she doesn't invite people over anymore. I feel bad that she is basically putting her life on hold for me.

"Haerin are you awake?" Minji's soft deep voice broke through the door and reached my ears. I could pretend like I'm asleep so I don't have to see the hurt in her eyes when I refuse food once again, but I promised her I would try to express what I'm feeling to her.

"Yeah." Minji immediately opened the door and stood in the middle of the room with a plate of toast with some grapes. I just gave her a little smile as she stood in her place. I don't know what I did in my last life to deserve someone like Minji, but I'm grateful for it.

"Do you want to try and eat something? It's not much, just some dry toast and a few grapes." The older girl looked at me almost desperately, pleading with me to eat something. Minji stepped closer slowly, seemingly not to scare me away.

"I can't." The shaking in my hands came back. The standing girl's eyes immediately shot to them with a frown on her face. I haven't had shaking spells like this since my mother died when I was fourteen. I can't do anything about them either since I left my medication at my Fathers house and I can't go back there to get it. I can't go get more either since he took me off his insurance. So I'm stuck suffering.

"Please, you haven't eaten in a week. I'm worried that if you don't eat soon you'll get worse." She set the tray on the bedside table and gently sat next to me on the bed.

"Fine...just a little bit." Minji's frown immediately turned into a giant grin making me smile a little as well. She grabs the tray and puts it in my lap and just looks at me expectantly. I know she means well but it feels a little uncomfortable with her waiting for me to eat. I try to reach for the dry piece of toast but my shaking hands prohibit me from being able to pick it up. I immediately retract my hand, putting it next to me out of view and sigh in frustration.

"Do you want me to help?" I looked up and Minji was looking at me with the most loving eyes. I felt my heart melt seeing her look at me like this. I just nod knowing that it would make the older girl happy if I did and I was right. She picked up the piece of toast, ripping it in half, setting it on the plate and lifted the other one to my mouth. I take a deep breath and take a small bite, chewing it slowly. After chewing it for a while I swallowed it. "See, it's not too hard." I hum taking another bite of the toast looking up seeing the older girl smiling at me. I continued on eating the toast until it was almost gone and then Minji fed me a couple grapes as well before I stopped her.

"That's enough." Minji nodded, taking the next grape she was going to give me, setting it back on the plate and moving it back to the bedside table.

"You did really good today. I'm proud of you." Minji tries to reach out for me, but immediately pulls her hand away. I can tell she wants to touch me so bad. We haven't touched in a while besides a hand hold here and there.

"You can touch me." Minji seemed shocked by my statement, making me giggle a little bit.

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." Minji frowns a bit. I reach out and touch her cheek with my shaking hand. I'm sure it feels weird to be touched by a hand that is moving at the speed of light but I want to reach out to her. Minji looked up at me and placed her hand over mine trying to steady it. After a couple seconds the shaking stopped mostly with just a little movement. "I love you."