Rêveries

Chapter 27.

Charles spent another few days at home before the race in Russia. Arthur wasn't home, he was still away racing. I could've probably come early, but my flight and hotel were already booked for the next race and I didn't want to be inconvenient just because I'm uncomfortable with Lucie and Charles at the house all the time.

To waste some time I took some dance classes, I danced by myself and I sat in on a few of the childrens' classes to introduce myself in case I'll be substituting. I'm very easy-going with kids, I love them, I think they're adorable. They don't know what they're saying most of the time so they basically stumble around on earth talking nonsense, every now and then falling and you have to kiss their knee better and they're just magically okay again.

One day I came home from one of the classes and I heard Charles and Lucie in the kitchen. He wants her to come to dinner with him before he leaves and she says that she's busy because she has to babysit her niece. I walk in, ignoring their conversation as I grab a smoothie I made from the fridge. I was hoping they barely noticed me but I realized I'm not invisible.

"Oh, C, je voulais te parler," Oh, C, I wanted to talk to you, Lucie says while I take a sip from the smoothie. I nod at her to keep talking while I try to swallow the smoothie instead of spitting it out in surprise. "Ma sœur veut inscrire ma nièce à des cours de danse, tu travailles là-bas, n'est-ce pas?" My sister wants to put my niece in dance classes, you work there, don't you?

I was contemplating just motioning at the clothes I was wearing because I'm pretty sure she knows where I just came back from, but I know she's asking out of politeness or just not wanting to assume so I nod again.

"Oui, mais j'assiste aux cours en tant qu'assistant supplémentaire et remplaçant lorsque les professeurs sont absents," Yes, but I only attend as extra help and substitute when teachers are away, I tell her.

"Est-ce bien?" Is it good? She asks.

"Oui, je les aime et je pense qu'ils fonctionnent très bien avec les enfants." Yes, I like it and I think they work very well with children, I say and before I can stop my bad idea, I'm already saying it. "Je pourrais l'emmener à l'un des cours pendant que tu sors manger et ensuite je peux l'emmener faire quelque chose d'amusant jusqu'à ton retour." I can take her to one of the classes while you go out to eat and then I'll take her to do something fun until you get back.

I change my mind as soon as I've said it, but I see Lucie's face go up into a big smile before she comes over to hug me. I hug her back and try not to look extremely uncomfortable, because Charles is still watching me. I give him a faint smile over her shoulder and he smiles back before nodding. Lucie lets me go and rubs my arms.

"Tu es un ange, C, merci," You're an angel, C, thank you. She says and she just looks so happy and she's so kind that now I feel like I have to do it. The kid is two years old, we have a class for kids that age and I've never understood it, because they can't remember a choreography so what are they doing?

Charles doesn't say anything, but when he passes me he puts a hand on my shoulder before disappearing upstairs towards his room. I know it's his way of saying thank you, but I feel like he could've actually said it verbally since I'm literally saving his date night for him.

Lucie and I set up the time and she tells me some things I should know before she follows Charles up to his room. I curse in my head all the way up to my room where I call Evie to rant. She laughs at me and then asks if I'm serious.

"You're babysitting her niece? C... why would you do that?" She asks and I groan in response, because I don't even know why I would do that. "Why would you do that so she could go on a date with Charles? Do I have to remind you of your own damn feelings?"

"But that's the point! I'm trying to get rid of whatever it was I was feeling, so it shouldn't matter if he goes on a date," I tell her before falling onto my bed with my face into my pillow.

We spend the evening talking on the phone even though she's also in Monaco. She tells me to call her if I need help with the kid and I tell her I might actually take her up on that.

The day after, Lucie comes over with her niece, Alice. Lucie tells me everything there's to know before I take Alice with me to the dance studio. I walk in with Alice on my hip and the room is filled with other toddlers her age and all of their moms. I begin to worry about the other moms there that might think that Alice is my kid and that I had her way too young. But I sit her down and change her shoes before joining the circle with the other kids who are in their mother's laps.

Mostly, the kids run around to music while the teacher does easy things the kids are supposed to copy. Most of the kids don't even know how to do that and their parents help them with the movement. Alice tries some for herself while I watch her and only make her do the movements if she gets distracted. I find myself quietly talking to her as if she could understand me, gossiping to her while watching the others around the room.

Afterwards, I take her in her pram and we go to the park. She's started talking back to me. Not in a rude way, but she actually has conversations with me. As well as a toddler can converse with you anyway. I tell her things, talking to her, and she replies with some inaudible noises. She knows some phrases and some words but when she doesn't speak, she likes to make noise just because. We go swinging, she goes on the slide and we feed the ducks. She starts to run after them, but always comes back as soon as the ducks start to fly. At one point she came back yelling,

"Cece, cours!" Cece, run! and I couldn't help but smile at how adorable she said my name. I picked her up and tickled her as her round face was laughing and squealing.

When we got back home we watched a movie while waiting for Lucie and Charles to get back. She laid down on my lap and let me play with her hair as we watched Lightning McQueen fix some road. She liked to talk to me during the film, but she was still good at staying silent and focusing on the movie for longer periods of time.

As Lucie and Charles walked through the door, I found myself disappointed that Alice was being taken from me. She was such good company and I grew really fond of her during the day. I carried her on my shoulders out to meet them in the hallway and Lucie's face lit up as we pretended to be in a race car. Lucie took Alice off my shoulders and I wanted to rip her right back.

"On dirait que vous vous êtes amusés tous les deux, est-ce que tu t'es amusé Alice?" Looks like you two had fun, did you have fun Alice? She asks while keeping Alice on her hip. Alice nods yes and Lucie thanks me so much before they leave. She kisses Charles goodbye since he's flying to Russia and then he walks up to me.

"Je ne savais pas que tu étais doué avec les enfants," I didn't know you were good with kids, Charles says, following me into the kitchen as I walk in there to get a bottle of water to take with me to go to bed.

"Parce que tu ne m'as jamais vu avec des enfants," Because you've never seen me with kids, I tell him as I fill my water bottle.

"Parce que toi et Arthur étiez toujours les enfants," Because you and Arthur were always the kids, he says with a chuckle. I scoff and roll my eyes but I feel this gross feeling in my stomach. Just another thing he says to indicate he sees me as a kid still. Legally I am... I guess.

"Eh bien, j'aime les enfants, j'aime Alice," Well, I like kids, I like Alice, I shrug while putting the lid on the water bottle. Charles nods and takes a step towards me. Without thinking I take a step back and begin to walk out of the room, wanting to end the conversation and not have him step any closer to me.

"Merci d'avoir regardé Alice pendant que nous étions sortis," Thanks for watching Alice while we were out, Charles says just as I walk out of the kitchen.

"Pas de problème, bonne chance en Russie," No problem, good luck in Russia, I say over my shoulder and that's where I put an end to the day.