Bungo Stray Dogs Oneshots

Jingle Bells, Kunikida Smells, Dazai Laid And Egg

The Christmas Special No One Asked For. Also Dazai doesn't actually lay an egg in this, it's just the lyrics of that one song but with instead of Batman and Robin it's Kuni and Dazai.

Some Comedy here.

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"Hey Atsushi. Christmas is coming up."

Atsushi looked up from his work, met by the cheeky smirk of his mentor.

"Oh? Ah...when is it again?"

Dazai chuckled. "It's the 25th this month. Since it's the 18th that leaves you...ah six days to go Christmas shopping." He informed.

Atsushi frowned. "Shopping? What do I need to go shopping for?" He asked.

Growing up in an orphanage, especially his orphanage, Atsushi knew little about holidays. He was usually locked up on the rare occasion that a holiday was celebrated. Really all he knew about holidays were the meaning behind some of them. He had no idea how people celebrated these things.

Dazai gasped in mock surprise, seeing as he predicted his young mentee would be so uninformed.

"For Christmas presents of course! Don't tell me you didn't think about buying presents for your friends!" He whined.

Atsushi nearly jumped from his seat. "Wait?! I have to buy presents for people?! Oh gosh...I...Dazai?! What do I do?!" He exclaimed, completely panicked. 

Dazai clicked his tongue. "Do not fret young Atsushi for I will do the honor of taking you shopping right now. After all it is my- Ack!" He was cut off thanks to Kunikida smacking him over the head with his precious notebook.

"You're not getting out of work for this. You can either shop after work or on the weekend, idiot." He scolded.

Dazai rubbed his head as he whined. "But Kunikida...!!!"

The idealist sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Just get back to work and stop bothering the kid." He said before practically stomping back to his own desk.

Dazai did not work, instead opting to lay on the couch for the duration of his work hours.

Meanwhile Atsushi was in deep thought. He had never given a gift before, unless you count the time he gave flowers to Dazai. Though that didn't go too well.

The only present he had really received weee the clothes he now wore. But he wasn't sure if those counted. Of course they are nice but it seemed more like a uniform that an employee would get then a present that had serious though behind it.

He also realized something. He knew next to nothing about what his colleagues like. Sure, Ranpo likes candy, Kyouka likes Tofu, Rabbits, and Crepes, and Kenji liked cows, but that still left a good chunk of people that he had zero ideas for.

So he had two options, wing it and hope his friends like the presents he gets them, or actually ask around to figure out what they like.

Of course Atsushi went with the second option in the end. He wanted his friends to like their gifts, maybe even love them.

In the end, after bribing Ranpo with sweets in exchange for information, Atsushi compiled the following list of likes.

Kunikida- fishing, and tataki bonito

Dazai- alcohol and crab

Yosano- flowers, Japanese sweets, eel, sake

Ranpo- fantastic tales

Kyouka- hydrangeas, and ghosts

Kenji- music, tempura soba, and mitsuya cider

Fukuzawa- cats, beef hot pot, and alcohol