Bungo Stray Dogs Oneshots

Kunikida's Grievances Notebooks

Kunikida doesn't actually make an appearance in the story

Only characters are Atsushi and Dazai.

A short story about Kunikidas Notebooks about his grievances for each of his colleagues.

Scenario inspired by that one Wan episode.

-

Doppo Kunikida had many notebooks. Some used for his schedules, and others used to list out his grievances with his colleagues. Basically a list of things he dislikes about them, or things about them that go against his ideal colleagues.

Today, Atsushi and Dazai were tasked with cleaning out the lockers. A task, though assigned many times, Dazai has never done. But, today, he decided to let curiosity overtake him and explore the contents of his colleagues lockers.

They started with Kunikida's. Atsushi didn't expect to find much. Maybe a calendar, spare notebook or two, some pencils. Something like that.

Actually, both detectives were surprised to see a whole stack of notebooks, almost all of them having sticky notes of different colors poking out of the pages.

The one on note hand a name written at the top.

Naomi Tanizaki.

Atsushi looked at his mentor. "What do you think is written in all of these?" He asked.

The waste of bandages shrugged. "Don't know, but...it wouldn't hurt to find out~" He said, reaching for the first book.

He flipped to the first page, scanning its contents before shutting it with more force then needed.

He seemed disturbed and Atsushi could swear he was sweating.

"Ah, Kunikida does like to go into detail. Ah...anyways. These seem to be lists of things he finds about us to be not ideal.. I suggest we skip this one and Junichiro's." He said, voice scarily shaking.

Atsushi felt a shiver go up his spine at the thought of what might be written in those notebooks. But, putting the disturbing images aside, he moved Junichiro's notebook(which was the next one in the stack) to the side. Then he took Yosano's.

"Well, I'm curious now, to know what he thinks about us...even if it's in a negative light."

He said, flipping open the book.

Yosano's detailed Kunikidas dislike of her violent tendencies. It even recounted incidents. That seemed to be his main problem with her. That and her apparent back for losing medical tools.

Ranpo actually had quite a bit considering how much everyone, including Kunikida, respects him. It listed off things like how he's using the agency's money to fund his snack intake. Or how he withholds vital information about important cases. Along with reports of many different clients complaining about his blunt personality. Plus a few minor incidents about his attitude and stuff.

Kenji's detailed Kunikidas problem with his unconventional methods of case solving. That was really it.

I surprisingly, there was not a notebook from the President.

Kyouka's seemed to be mostly accounts from before she was an official member. Mostly about how much trouble she brought to the agency. Another thing was how her quiet presence startled the staff.

Atsushi was a little nervous to read his own. Though Dazai managed to convince him to finally open the book.

Atsushi found that Kunikida didn't actually have much to say about him. There were some complaints about the consistency of his uniform being ripped. Also some complaints about how Atsushi admired Dazai way too much. And other things like how his intake of Chazuke couldn't be healthy. Nothing Atsushi hadn't heard before, to his relief.

Finally it came down to the final Detective in the Agency. Dazai.

To no one's surprise, Dazai had not one, not two, but 10 notebooks marked with his name.

Atsushi was actually scared to start reading, probably skipping over a lot considering that was at least nine full notebooks of information plus the tenth.

"Uh, Dazai...I know you always upset Kunikida but this is a lot." Atsushi pointed out.

Dazai shrugged. "I expected more."

He opened the first notebook, reading through for a bit before bursting out in laughter. "Oh, that was so long ago I had almost forgotten...that was the second time we were partnered and Kunikida was so mad at me for the stunt I pulled, he yelled at me for an hour straight." He recalled.

Atsushi could tell it was a good memory and couldn't keep himself from smiling. "Despite how many times you have annoyed Kunikida, he still seems to care about you. You also care for him It's...strange. I don't really get how you can be so close when you get on each other's nerves constantly." He said.

Dazai hummed thoughtfully. "Well, a lot of relationships are like that. I can't really explain it." He responded.

Atsushi laughed. "I see...does that mean you and Chuuya actually like each other? Or is that different." He inquired.

Dazai sighed. "Well, I don't know about Chuuya. But I suppose I am fond of the Hatrack. He's so much fun to mess with after all~" He purred.

Atsushi nodded.

"Plus~ Wouldn't tanga logic mean that you and Akutagawa actually like each other?~" He teased, spinning Atsushi's words against him.

Atsushi felt the blood rush to his face, cheeks painted a bright red.

"Ah, let's continue reading, yeah?" He tried to change topics.

Dazai crossed his arms. "Actually, I have a much better idea for my books." He claimed.

Atsushi looked at him skeptically.

-

They stood in front of the sea-side bonfire, fueled by the pages of Kunikidas precious notebooks.

Atsushi cuddled up close to the flames so he wasn't cold in the chilly night.

He could already feel himself sweating at the met thought of Kunikidas reaction. It wouldn't be two difficult to discern the culprits.

But, at the moment, Atsushi leaned against Dazai. And enjoyed the natural sounds of the crackling fire and crashing waves.

-

The next day, Kunikida strangled Dazai.

-The End-