With These Hands

another nightmare

I'm in a trance, I can't seem to understand why I'm here, what's going on? This room's empty. Just then I hear a ring and it's my phone at my back pocket. I answer the call,

"Marj! ...Mean I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have gone. Marj I need you," it was Joey,

My heart raced so fast, I couldn't understand the situation but his voice was so disturbed. I think he's in danger.

"Joey?!! Joey! Calm down, and talk to me, what's wrong?" I asked all ears,

"I'm..I'm sorry Marj, I'm sorry but you can't see me anymore...I can't return... please forgive me?" He said making me grow really scared of his words,

"What are you saying to me...where are you?" I asked with loud tone...

"Turn around" he said as I did I could see him, looking really distressed and sad, he had sorry eyes and wasn't coming near me.

We stood from our distance in the odd empty room. What's going on, why's he about to cry. This is unlike him.

"Joey? What's going on, why are you standing there," I asked and tried coming nearer but he held out his hand in a 'stop' form and said the words I didn't want to hear,

"Stop! Don't come any closer, I'm really sorry Marj, but this is the end....I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, please forgive me..."

I was in the verge of also breaking down to tears, being confused if what my best friend was telling me. It hurt so bad.

"W.. what are you saying Jo, come on this is not the end please come here, we can figure this out, no need apologizing," I answered

"I'm...I'm truly sorry, I love you Marj...and I'm sorry, forgive me," where all he kept saying until he started moving backwards and disappeared form the room,

"Joey! Joey!!! Wait please... Come back! Joey!!!!!" was all I said with all my heart.

GASP!!
BREATHING HEAVILY!

Oh my goodness, it was another nightmare. How can I get through this. It gotta stop. It really has to. I can't go on like this...

I've been so deep in this friendship that I still can't believe it's over. It's truly taken away form me.

I couldn't hold my tears now, it's just too much to take, "Joey!" I said to myself,

I was just there thinking till the dawn was cleared of sight. I finally get off my bed and went in the shower.

When I was done, I decided to go for a black look. Had on a black high waist jean, with a black off shouldered hugged top and wore orange high sneakers. My long bone straight black hair was patted in the middle and packed down.

I sighed looking at the mirror, had a bit of powder on my face , brush my brows and put transparent gloss. I took my Gray bag with my phone and left the room.

Down stairs as expected was already busy. And everytime I try to just leave it never was possible, because the dining section was always captivating.

Well ofcoarse I marched up to the area greeted the maids who were setting up the table and sat down. For breakfast I had baked macaroni and cheese with meatloaves. A cup of hot chocolate was waiting for me. I grabbed an apple into my bag, took the hot choco in my hand and was set to leave.

Just then my mother showed up from the door, looking all exhausted. Ofcoarse what else do you expect from a night shift surgeon.

"Hey, honey...I see you're all set?" She smiled,

"Morning to you too, how are your patients?" I changed topic,

"In good shape I believe,"

"Good, see you later then... Or maybe tomorrow again," I replied smiling,

"C'mon Marj... Is it that bad to have a normal morning Conversation with  your working mom?"

" It really is a normal conversation, maybe we're missing the facts that our lives now are based on 'whenever we see' kinda thing...so it's best to relate the way we see things," I answered drinking in some of that choco.

"I understand my love, but you see being a surgeon takes alot of effort and time and I know..." I cut in

"That I miss my mother? Ofcoarse, you know mommy, it's good to see you, I'm running late I better go now. Love you, bye,"

"Marj....love you too," she squeezed fast, before I zoomed out in my dad's car. The one he left me.

Everyone's just really busy these days.. I mean I'm not a kid also I'm almost a college graduate and soon enough I'd fully be in my own fending for me somewhere.

Atleast, being in that house alone won't be a burden very soon. I literally talk to myself and sometimes the three maidens my dad hired from wherever he is right now.

Let's just get this day over and done with. Feel like suffocating already. Especially when I know it brings tough memories back to me.

On my way to the turn where the college leads to, I could see someone in a complete black tinted car not far from my left, but their side of the glass was lowered.

"Valerian?"

He was at the back seat lost in his own thoughts looking outside the window with his right hand rested on the window side squeezing his forehead.

"He even has his personal driver...sweet," I said still looking and waiting for the traffic lights to go green.

I couldn't see what he was wearing though, but oh well we were definitely headed the same direction. The car he was in went on first before I followed just so I wouldn't be seen.