Descendants of war | Stray Kids AU fanfiction

Hermes's page: the genesis of Icarus

Jeongin's narrative

I was 4 years old when I first met him.

With a wing span of almost a meter he blocked the sun. And I could clearly see his face.

He looked young, joyful, more like a brother than a father.

They never tell you the true story. They always censor some details to make it more friendly.

Like the stories of him and his winged shoes. A stupidity invented to spare the humans' hearts from fearing another mighty God: Hermes.

He looked down at me.

He tried to see even a drip of his greatness inside me. A spark in my eyes that would assure him his genes are safe within my weak and frail body.

He saw fear.

That's all that he needed to see.

He left me with the sea nymphs. Just like before. But he came to visit.

In those few moments he was present he faked the role of a dad for me. He tried. But I could see his disgust behind that forced smile.

I wasn't what he asked for. I was a burden to say the least.

When I was 7 I tried to fly after him. To search for him.

I soared and my feet lifted off of the edge of a cliff.

Then I fell.

Because my father was right. I was a disgrace. A waste of Godly blood.

I was bound to die. And I couldn't even do that properly.

My eyes shut in pain, my chest slowly sinking into the sand with every breath.

My back was slashed, the red warm liquid spreading on my sunburnt skin. I was crying.

Not because of the pain, but because of the shame.

Screams would come from my sore throat as the nymphs rush towards me with horror in their eyes. I am a lost cause.

"We cannot tell Hermes about this incident. He will punish us for not looking out for his son" one of my self-proclaimed nannies said right next to me.

"Then we shall not speak a word about it. This never happened" was the agreement they came to.

However, my wings didn't heal. And the second the mighty God noticed it, he blamed it on me.

He dropped out of the act and started training me.

Nothing hurt more than the disappointment on his face.

I wanted to end it. I wanted to disappear. This would make him happy. Yes. He doesn't need me. He needs a son, just not me.

Those dark thoughts brought me back to the cliff where my misery began.

And once again, my feet couldn't stand the itching feeling of rocks and puddles under them.

No God had the power to stop me from jumping.

Yet it was a mortal who dragged my body back, who took my hand and dug his nails in my flesh in his desperate attempt to save me.

I saw his eyes.

Calm as the sea before the storm. He wasn't scared. Neither was I.

I dragged my feet back, cutting my knees on my way to him. I recall his curly light hair carrying the heavy drops of sweat from his forehead.

He was no God.

His golden eyes held power he couldn't unleash it yet.

He took my body in his arms and pressed our chests together.

"Let me die..."

Those are the words that escaped my mouth. He tightened his grip and I felt his body trembling.

"Death will not bring you peace. Rest is what you need. And that's the only thing you shall not receive in the Underworld for your suicide"

I was a fool in front of a human child walking on land like there was no tomorrow.

"I wanted him to see me..." I swallowed my tears.

"If he didn't come in your death moment, he will never do"

It was that simple.

He didn't ask for details. He didn't ask for a name. He said what he was expected to say.

And held me.

Held me like I was blood of his blood, flesh of his flesh... No. It was something more. Like I was soul of his soul.

His back leaned on a boulder as he laid my head in his lap and brushed his fingertips along my white strands.

My eyelashes felt heavier as my mind drifted off into the abyss of dreamland.

The last thing I heard was a lullaby. One made just for me.

"The sun and the sky
Will call out your name
And the birds in the threes
Will show up to claim you
As feathers and flesh
The air becomes lighter
Do they know in the nest
Grows the heart of a fighter"

He didn't blink an eye while my pitiful wings stretched in my slumber.

When I woke up a couple of hours later, he got up and dusted off his gray tunic.

I knew we may never see each other again.

But for some reason I didn't want my presence to vanish from his memory so suddenly.

I gave him one of my feathers as a sign of my gratefulness.

He took it before his thumb and index and bowed in front of me as an acknowledgment.

He knew who I am from the beginning.

That's the only memory from my early days that I hold dearly to.

There is no day in which I don't wonder if I will ever see him again. What happened to him.

I can only hope he is well and still singing to broken souls like mine.

________________________________
I'm sure you know who was the boy

Thank you for reading!