TMNT x Reader | Boyfriend Scenarios

7| Advice - Raph

//Raph//

Raph threw open the door to Leo's room and slammed it behind him. "You gotta stop me," he begged.

Leo, wide-eyed and obviously confused, was sitting across from him on his bed, legs folded, book in hand. But upon hearing no further explanation from his younger brother, Leo closed the book and set it on his nightstand with an expression that showed he'd seen Raphael this way many times.

"What else is new?" he asked, a sly smile on his lips, but his eyes were kind. He shifted his legs off the side of his bed, making room for Raph beside him.

Raph rolled his eyes, letting Leo's indirect insult slip past. He waltzed over and plopped himself down hard next to his older brother. He leaned all the way back on the wall, letting his limbs sprawl outward defiantly. Leo chuckled, turning his head to look at him sideways. "Though I have to say," he added, "you asking me to stop you is new."

Raph shoved his face away as he sat up. He pulled his legs in and shook his head. "Why did I even come here?" he whispered, groaning.

Leo recovered from the shove, smacking Raph's hand away and banging against his side as he settled next to him. He mimicked his brother's position, nudging his shoulder. "What's up?" he asked.

"I just came from hanging out with Y/n."

"Okay... And how'd that go?"

"Man," Raph answered, "you already know how I feel." He buried his chin below the arms resting on his knees, pressing his lips against his forearm.

Leo turned his head away. "There's something more though," he said. "Spit it out."

There was silence before Raph lifted his head. "I wanna tell her." He let his hands slip down his legs and rest at the base of his feet. From the corner of his eye, he could see Leo's upper lip thin. He kept his eyes to himself after that. "So, you gonna stop me?" he asked, voice softened.

"I won't stop you," Leo said.

"No?"

"No."

"Damn."

Leo turned to his brother, eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

"What? I did ask you to stop me," Raph stated flatly. "Why're you surprised?" His eyelids hung low, shading his irises.

"I didn't think you actually wanted me to," Leo replied, having turned his body to face him now.

"Well, if you stop me, then it saves me the trouble of having to stop myself," he explained, still avoiding Leo's eyes. "A fight I may not win, although few and far between."

Leo raised an eyebrow. "Mm," he hummed a negation. "You've been losing a lot more of those ever since you met her," he reminded, the beginnings of a smirking tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Raph sighed. "Exactly."

Leo's previous expression dissipated. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words he needed to say didn't come to him. He closed his lips, biting the inside of the bottom. "I don't know if I follow..."

"If you keep me from doing it, you help me avoid the pain I will no doubt feel once she says she doesn't feel the same."

The silence through Leo's small bedroom was thick as Raph leaned back on the wall, using his palms to rub his eyes. Leo leaned back next to him, never taking his eyes off Raph's tired, green ones.

"What happened to wanting the pain...?" Leo asked finally.

"I don't need this pain to tell me I care," he responded, voice gruff.

"Well, you clearly think there's some chance you won't end up feeling it," Leo told him. "Or you wouldn't be here right now."

Raph didn't respond to his assertion.

"What is there to lose?" Leo asked, almost seeming to become upset with Raph's lack of resolve.

"Her," Raph deadpanned, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I might lose her, Leo." He finally turned to his blue-clad brother, shaking his head. He wore a mildly blank stare accentuated by the distaste in the posture of his lips.

Leo's expression hardened. "Would you even be happy otherwise?" he asked.

"I don't know... Probably not," Raph admitted.

"Then there's nothing to lose." Leo readjusted himself, taking his eyes off Raph's. Raph's silence prompted what he said next. "I love you, Raph, but you give up too easily."

Raph's head turned to fall directly in line with his brother's cheek while the rest of his body remained with its attention on the wall opposite them.

"Is it really giving up if you already know what's gonna happen?" he countered.

"Who told you?" Leo met his eyes.

Raph was quiet again. He sighed indignantly, his situational petulance forcing an emotional barrier between the two of them. So he averted his gaze.

"Why are you denying yourself this?" he asked. Leo flicked Raph's chin casually, regaining his attention. "I know you're scared of what could go wrong, but I'm starting to think you're also scared of what could be."

He read Raph like a book. Older brothers always do.

He promptly faced away from Leo, now feeling each breath in his throat as he took it. At the silence that followed, he knew his abrupt mood change had ticked off Leo's brotherly intuition. "What are you talking about?" Raph's voice was stern, portraying the question as more of a statement, or a demand. But his tone lacked the dismissive attitude it needed to throw Leo off course.

"What if she feels the same?" Leo theoreticized. "What then?" Raph didn't answer. Leo yanked his shell backward, forcing him to face him.

Under the coupled pressure of Leo's prying questions and knowing eyes, he couldn't help but crack. "That'd be great," he answered Leo's previous question reluctantly. "But it wouldn't last long." Leo stayed quiet. "I can deal with the pain of being rejected. I'd move on," he told him. "And if she does see me the way I see her, of course I can accept the pain that'll come when we'd inevitably fight. Because at least I'd have her, and we'd care for each other, right?" The question was rhetorical, but Leo nodded anyway. "The pain I can't take," Raph started, voice cracking. Leo ignored the tears at the brim of his brother's crimson mask. "The pain I can't deal with, is getting her, and then losing her, because I couldn't measure up..." Leo grabbed his brother's shoulder, squeezing it gently. "Earning love only to realize that it was never meant to be mine is a pain I'd never survive." He sniffled, wiping his eyes and turning his head so Leo couldn't see him cry. But he knew Leo was well aware. "It'd take me out in a second," he concluded.

Leo straightened up and hugged his brother with a warmth Raph would never admit he needed. Raph immediately returned the favor, wrapping his arms around Leo's shell tightly. He'd make a mental note to threaten Leo not to tell the others about it later. Right now, he was too exhausted to fight off the need for companionship.

Leo pulled away, a question instantly falling from his lips: "Is it better to love and lose, or never to love at all?"

The question left Raph stunned. Eyes wide, body trembling, he reached within himself for an answer. But as long as he sat there staring at Leo, he couldn't find one. "The real question is..." He hesitated. "Do I find out?" His voice was so weak and soft it was barely a noise at all, a succeeding, shaky laugh overpowering its weight.

Leo breathed deeply. "Is she worth finding out?"