TMNT x Reader | Boyfriend Scenarios

8| When You Almost... - Leo

Your grasp on reality was all but lost as you laid limply staring at the ceiling. Alone in your room at a quarter-past one in the morning. You had your blinds open just a crack to allow the piercing white shining from across the street to make the window sill glow. The ambiance of your room was dim, warm yellow light from the nightstand gently cast on the off-white walls. Your gaze, though fixed on the ceiling, was glazed over by hazy souvenirs harbored in your mind.

As you sat up, the film melted from your eyes. Leo had been over, and you could still see him in the impressions left in the pillows scattered across your bedroom floor. You slowly rose, moving to collect each of them. You placed them back on your bed and smoothed them out with a careful touch, letting your fingers glide over the textured fabric in search of memories. They sat like a historical account of the chronicle of you and Leonardo, regally presented to showcase the landmarks of your time together. You took a silent breath, reposed to a seat with your thoughts. Your head turned toward the window and your eyes found a new subject.

The streetlamp. Aglow, bright and unwavering in the darkness. You felt pulled to its certainty, feeling a pit of desperation surface squarely in the center of your chest. You pulled in a harsher breath. You stood, moving swiftly to the window. You parted the blinds wide enough to see its surroundings. Nothing but devoid sidewalks and barren brick walls. But something within you willed you toward its brilliance. You wanted to stand in its luminous circle, showered in its light; vulnerable yet accepted.

But something held you back.

Instead, you moved toward the bathroom. There, you lazily flipped on the light and traipsed toward the sink. You planted your palms on the cold, stone countertop. Your fingers gripped the edge, barely grazing the underside of the marble.

In the mirror, your frizzy hair caught your eye first. It was tangled from a day of inattention; attention paid elsewhere. Your cheek, a red line curved down the side and behind your ear. A remnant of the time you and Leo had spent huddled in blankets atop your bed, watching movies. And that paper cut between your fingers. When Leo tried to show you how to throw playing cards like shuriken. It didn't go too well, obviously, from the raw warmth of a stinging burn between your middle and forefinger, but you got a laugh out of it. Well, he did.

You looked back up to meet your own eyes in the mirror. Your reflection pierced right through you, daring you to admit what you hadn't fully accepted yet. You'd thought it'd be easy enough to get over him.

But look at you.

You were covered in him.

---

A distraction.

Doused in fatigue, you staggered from the bathroom, falling over your feet as you reached your phone. You fought dizziness as you tried to focus your vision on the screen. Solace resided in the Music app. Hitting shuffle on all your songs, you tried to make it over to your bed before collapsing. You tossed your phone on the table as you plummeted. Hitting the cushy surface was one weight of many cast off. You let your eyes catch where they had before, but now the ceiling spun in front of them.

As you lay there, realization crept in like a growing weed. You sucked air in through your mouth as your breathing deepened. He wouldn't leave your head. For the love of God, this boy hadn't left your mind for weeks.

You begged silently for a reprieve. Something, anything, that would allow you the space to stop seeing him behind your eyelids. To stop seeing him in every bit of yourself. Stop seeing him in all the blue eyes and soft skins. Stop seeing him in the bass drops of love songs. Stop seeing him in daydreams of dancing in the rain, of kissing beneath sunlit sheets, of candlelit confessions and slow hands. But no such relief came. It was you alone with all those sights, swirling and consuming, capitalizing on your inability to separate yourself from him. They imbedded themselves within the fibers of your mind, firing off with every neuron, rewriting your life, your future, to include him.