Giving in... Or giving up...

Chapter 7

I wake up and look at the time... I had only dozed off for an hour or so... I can still hear the party going on... I hear someone singing karaoke and i groan... I need to sleep if i want to get out of here first thing in the morning but as i hear Seb his voice now coming through the speaker of the karaoke machine i know he will be in no shape to leave early... I need a plan... I need a plan to get out of here... I just dont want to be here... The shame and hurt only grows as the alcohol leaves my system... I just wished i could go home... I just want to close my front door and close myself off from the world... I look at my phone and think... After about half an hour i come to 4 solutions...

1. Wait until morning... Call an Uber to take me to a car rental place and rent a car to go back to New York before anyone wakes up...

2. Look at flights and call an Uber to take me to the airport and fly to New York...

3. Just stay and wait for Seb to be sober enough and drive us both to New York in his car... But that is out of the question because i dont want to stay here for that long... 

4. Call a friend to drive to Boston to pick me up and drive me back... But who would be crazy enough to drive 4 hours in the middle of the night to do so... And i didn't want to explain what happened... I didn't want anyone to know what happened...

I see movement at the other side of the door due to shadows and sigh... I dont know who it is but i could have a guess... I dont want to talk to him... Ever again... I feel so humiliated that i fell for the whole ruse... I just couldn't believe that even Seb would set me up like this... Pushing me to come along because he had promised i would... That much was clear... Pushing Chris and i together to do the groceries while i had said i would rather stick with Scott... They were smart setting me up to let my guard down by having dinner at his mother's house... But mostly i was angry at myself for letting my guard down and giving in...

I feel so stupid... So fucking stupid... I was offered up on a silver platter and i let them... I fell for the i really like you and am serious line... I fell for him complimenting me and i fell for his charm... I guess i should be thankful for the girl though... She stopped me from making a big mistake...

I sigh and lay down again and check rental companies and i look at the time... It is 2 in the morning and i make a decision... I book an Uber for 5.30 that makes me arrive at the rental company that opens at 6 and i can pick up the car that i now rent online... I was not going to stay here for any longer than i had to... I just wanted to go home... 

I lay down and try to get some sleep so i can drive home in the morning, but it is noisy as the party is still ongoing...  My head is too full... Everything that happened running over and over in my head... The scene of that girl attached to Chris his lips etched in my brain... The pain i felt and although i barely cried it hurt... It is ridiculous... I think to myself... Chris and i were nothing... It was not like we were dating or in a relationship... He didn't cheat on me... He didn't owe me an explanation... 

He was single and could do whatever he wanted... I just wisht he had kept his mouth shut... I wish i could undo the feeling of his hands around mine... I wish i could forget the feeling of his hands around my waist and his strong muscular body against mine when we almost kissed... I want to forget the shivers and warm feeling when he whispered in my ear that i was perfect... I wish i could just erase the feeling he gave me... I wanted to erase the feeling of being desired by him because it was not real... After an hour i get out and just gather my stuff already and take a long hot shower trying to wash the shame away... 

I get back to bed after and try to rest for a little bit as i listen to the party... As time goes on it doesn't seem to die down even a little bit... It is now 5 o clock in the morning and in a half an hour i need to leave but i know there are still people out there... I look at my phone again and no it is not wise to drive back to New York in this state so i decide to book a hotel room hoping i can check in early and to my relief i can... I book myself a nice luxurious suite to treat myself because why not and i decide to go to the hotel after i picked up my car... My phone dings letting me know the uber will be here in a few minutes and i sigh... I get my suitcase and carefully open the door... 

I let out a sigh of relief when the hallway is empty and i walk to the front door hoping no one will notice... I am just to open the front door when i hear my name... "Neve? Where are you going...?" I hear in a slurred voice and i turn around to see Scott standing there looking confused... "Home..." I say and i grab my suitcase and walk out just in time for as my Uber drives up... 

"Neve!! Wait... Please!!" I hear being yelled and i look back as i open the door and Chris runs out after me... Scott still stands in the doorway... I quickly get into the car and tell her to please drive off... The woman nods and takes off and dont dare to look back... I dont want to see him anymore... I tell her were i need to go and she nods...

"You okay?" The woman asks smiling warmly at me and i nod... "I will be..." I whisper and she smiles... She drops me off at the rental place and drives off and i walk in and the guy behind the desk looks up surprised... "I booked a car online..." I say and he smiles way to chipper... "I want to extend the rental for an extra day..." I say trying to keep it together as exhaustion sets in...

The guy says it is no problem and after the necessary paperwork i wait for him to drive the car up... He hands me the keys and i put my suitcase in the back and drive to the hotel... I check in and i am glad i booked a luxury suite with 24-hour room service... After tipping the bell boy i order myself a full breakfast going all out because who cares... About 45 minutes later it arrives and i dig in and put it out in the hallway when i am done... I put my phone on silent and crawl in the bed and as soon as my head hits the pillow i am asleep...