Giving in... Or giving up...

Chapter 67

"How... What... How..." I stammer as i look in the face of a worried Chris... "How do you know were i live..." I whisper and he sighs blushing... "Scott... He well... He found the address in your mail back in New York..." He whispers looking at me looking worried or maybe scared for my reaction... "I am sorry... I..." He says but my need for him takes over and i pull him in on his jacket crashing my lips on his pulling him into the house... He kicks the door shut behind him never breaking the kiss as we stumble into the house... His arms glide around me pulling me closer deepening the kiss... My body relaxes my mind finally quiet...

When we come up for air, he doesn't let me go he holds me tightly pressed against him his forehead pressed against mine... "That was not the reaction i had expected..." He murmurs before letting out a deep breath... He steps back and he looks at my belly... "May i?" He asks and i nod. I take in a sharp breath as he puts his hand on my belly and our girl immediately starts to kick and he looks at me his eyes growing wide... I tear up as he sinks down to his knees and lifts my shirt and plants a kiss on my belly... "Hello little girl... I am you dad... Sorry it took so long..." He says and tears start to stream down my face... She is kicking hard, and Chris just looks at my belly in amazement... "Does it hurt...?" He murmurs not taking his eyes off my belly as he tries to guess where she is going to kick next his big hands moving over my belly... I shake my head... "No, a little uncomfortable sometimes but that's it..." I whisper and he smiles... 

He plants another kiss on my belly with tears in his eyes... "I am so sorry little girl... I am so sorry for not being here little one..." He whispers... "Pip... her name is Pip..." I whisper and he looks up at me with a smile on his face... "Pip?" He asks and i nod... "Pip Dotty..." I say and he smiles... "Pip..." He murmurs... "Pip Dotty..." He murmurs again and he wipes away some tears... "I love it..." He says and i let out a sigh of relief because i had my mind set on it and i dont think i would have taken it well if he would have protested... I have been calling her Pip from the moment i knew she was a girl... I dont know why but it just popped up in my head and that was it... That was her name and Dotty because without Dotty i dont think i would have pulled through and i find it a cute name...

Chris stands up and he cups my face and presses his lips on mine again... Soft and sweet... "What time is it?" I ask and he chuckles and looks at his watch... "4 in the morning..." He whispers and i groan... "I need to eat something..." I murmur as i had gone to bed without eating... I had been to upset to eat... I sigh and turn around and waddle towards the kitchen and i can hear Chris chuckle... I hear him follow me and when i make myself a snack he is looking around the open living space... "I love your place..." He says and give him a little smile... 

"It is brand new... Just finished yesterday..." I mumble feeling a little awkward now... "Do you want tea or something..." I mumble as i start to feel more and more awkward especially because i kissed him... I dont know what came over me but my body just had a mind of its own... He sits down at the counter on one of the bar stools and i look at him... "How did you get here so fast...?"  I whisper and he blushes... "Downey... He let me borrow his plane..." Chris says and i am confused... "You are still filming?" I ask and Chris shakes his head... And it was a stupid question because the blond hair and clean-shaven face are gone... He is Chris again...

"I was in LA... For Downey's party..." He says and i look even more confused... "Downey has a party every year..." Chris says and i dont know what to think about it... I know it is unfair of me to expect him to stop his life, but it feels like i have been sulking and he just goes on with life... 

"What are you eating..." He says a look of disgust on his face and i blush... "A banana with mayo and pickle sandwich..." I mumble and he looks even more disgusted... "It is really good... Want to try?" I say taking a bite and holding it out for him, but he shakes his head smirking... "No thank you... You eat..." He says and i smirk back before taking another bite... 

I eat like i haven't had anything to eat during this whole pregnancy and Chris just watches me with a horrid look in his eyes... "It's just cravings... Apparently Pip likes banana..." I say and he smirks... "You hate banana..." He says and i sigh... "Yeah apparently not while pregnant... I have been eating so many bananas that i would not surprise me if she comes out with a banana costume..." I mumble and Chris laughs... But his laugh has a sad undertone...

 "Neve..." He says looking at me serious and i sigh... I dont want to talk... I dont want to start crying again... But i know we have to talk sometime... I sigh again and start to clean up turning my back to him to keep it together... For a moment it felt normal... For a moment it felt like nothing had happened... I wanted to hold onto that... God i wanted to forget everything and just drag him to my bed and cuddle up to him and sleep in his arms... 

"Chris... Can i ask you a favor..." I whisper but i dont face him... I feel vulnerable and scared for his reaction... I hear the bar stool being pushed back and Chris walks up to me and is now standing behind me his hands on my upper arms rubbing them up and down... "You can ask me anything... I am here for you and Pip..." He whispers kissing the top of my head and i smile at him calling her by her name... It sounds good hearing him say her name... 

"I know we have a lot to talk about... But can we not... Not right now... Can we for a moment pretend like nothing has happened... Can we just lay in bed and cuddle..." I say in a soft small tone of voice... He turns me around and i look up at him and he gives me a little smile... "Lead the way love..." He whispers and gives me a small, sweet kiss again...

I take his hand and walk through the house and i hesitate as i walk past the nursery... For a moment i think about showing him but i keep walking... I am not ready to share the room with him... We walk into the bedroom and Chris smiles... I pull off my clothes as i want to feel his skin on mine and i blush... "Can you undress please..." I whisper almost so soft it is inaudible... He nods and undresses as i crawl into the bed throwing all my pregnancy pillows off the bed... Chris crawls in and i cuddle up to him making myself comfortable and i let out a deep breath as i feel so comfortable... Being cuddled up to him in combination with his body heat, sent and his hand running up and down over my arm makes it that i fall asleep quick...