Giving in... Or giving up...

Chapter 39

I look nervously in the mirror... I had just put on my dress and heels... I had my makeup and hair done... I loved the dress but maybe Elle had been right, and it was a little bit to revealing... I sigh looking in the mirror again... Maybe i should put something else on... I walk in the closet and look around when there is a knock on the door... 

"Are you almost ready love... We dont want to be late..." I hear Chris say and i sigh... "I dont know..." I mumble and Chris walks into my closet stopping dead in his tracks his eyes popping almost out of his head... "Damn..." He says and i sigh... "I was thinking of changing..." I whisper and he looks at me stunned... "Why?" He whispers walking over to me and i shrug my shoulders... "Maybe it is a bit to revealing..." I whisper and Chris shakes his head... "You look fucking amazing..." He says taking my hand twirling me around and i smile a little...

He pulls me into him and i look up and smile... "You look gorgeous love and as long as you feel happy in this dress that is all that matters..." He says before kissing me and i close my eyes as he deepens the kiss... There is a knock on the door again... "We have to go! Scott will not be happy if we are late!" Seb yells through the door and i sigh and Chris chuckles... "You look very handsome..." I whisper and Chris grins... He takes my hand and kisses it before we finally make our way out of the closet and the bedroom and join Seb... We make our way to the lobby and a car pulls up... 

We get in the car and not much later we arrive at the theatre... There is press and it is much bigger than i expected... I am nervous but Seb and Chris dont leave my side and we walk the red carpet as fans and press are yelling at them... We walk to the spot for pictures and i feel a little awkward posing between Chris and Seb and i dont know why...

We walk on and Seb get pulled one way to answer a few questions and i stand a little to the side as Chris answers a few questions... I smile as he is charming smiling and beaming with pride over his brothers' involvement... "So, who are you here with tonight... Does Chris Evans have a new woman in his life...?" The woman asks batting her eyes at Chris and refiring to me... "Oh no i am her with my friends... Neve and Sebastian... They are also friends with my brother, so we decided to all go together to show our support..." He says smiling and i feel my heart drop... 

Friends... My friends...He told her... I dont know why but it hurts... I sigh try my best to not give anything away keeping a smile on my face... But i can feel my chest getting tighter and it feels like i have been slapped in the face...  Why does it hurt so much... Whas i foolish for hoping he would acknowledge me as his girlfriend... Is that what i wanted for him to let the world know i was his and he was mine?  That he was off the market...  Was i foolish to think that going to this together even though Seb was with us that it meant something... We had talked about going separate... But he was adamant he wanted to go together and i stupidly thought that meant something... Fuck i am spiraling... I need to stop this...

"So, Chris Evans is still single...?" She asks and Chris laughs not saying yes or no... I sigh as it feels like another slap in the face... I can't take it anymore and i walk over to where Seb is talking to someone of the press... He sees me and for a moment our eyes meet, and he looks at me worried and i shake my head a little... Seb ends the conversation and walks over to me... "You, okay?" He asks and i nod looking away to fight my tears because i know i will cry when i look at him... Seb looks at Chris and sighs... "Let's go inside Chris will join us later..." He says and i nod... 

We walk inside and i tell Seb i need to go to the restroom and he tells me he will wait for me outside... I walk into the restroom and sigh putting my hands on the counter taking a deep breath looking into the mirror... "Pull yourself together..." I mumble to myself... "He is just protecting you... Or not wanting to overshadow Scott his big day..." I mumble again but as i say the words it hurts... Would it be so fucking bad to be linked to me... Would it be wrong of me to just want to be out and in the open... It just hurts... I dont want to take the spotlight away from Scott... But i also didn't want to feel dismissed... I didn't want to feel like a secret... A dirty little secret... 

I sigh and pull myself together as best as i can and when i walk out Seb is waiting for me... "Neve what is going on..." He asks and i sigh shaking my head... "Nothing... Just me being me..." I mumble and Seb looks at me confused... "Let's just find our seats dont want to miss the play..." I say and Seb nods and we walk to our seats and sit down... They are good seats but that is no surprise... Scott had one of the leads and Chris and Seb would always get prime seats everywhere they would go... 

Chris is nowhere to be seen yet and i look down and start plucking on dress... I just left Chris there on his own... But we are just friends right so that was not a weird thing to do... I just went inside with my other friend... I look around the beautiful theatre that is filling up with people all dressed up... A little later Chris walks into the theatre and he smiles when our eyes meet but i look away... I dont know how to act anymore... I dont know what to feel or what to think... My emotions all over the place... I am so confused... I dont know whether i am sad, angry or just being unreasonable...

"Hey... I was looking for you two..." Chris says sitting down next to me... "Well, you found us..." I mumble and i grab the program flipping through it to not have to look at him...