Giving in... Or giving up...

Chapter 76

"I changed my mind..." I groan as another contraction runs through my body... Chris is rubbing my back trying to relieve the pain a little, but he stops and steps into my view. "About what love?" Chris asks confused and a little scared... The doctor and the nurse have left the room for now as i am not far along enough to start to push... "The name... I was thinking Dotty Evelyn Lisa..." I groan and Chris looks at me shocked... "After both our mothers... It feels wrong to only name her after Dotty..." I grunt... "But you love the name Pip..." He says taking my hand and i shrug my shoulders... "I do... but it feels wrong..." I say as finally the contraction ebbs away and i relax a bit...

"We dont have to name her right away love... Let's just think about it when she is here..." Chris says and i let out a sigh letting myself fall back into the bed... "I am scared..." I whisper and Chris sighs again... "I know love... But you can do this..." He says smiling and i shake my head... "I am not just scared of the birth... What if i am not a good mother..." I say in a small voice and Chris chuckles... "That is not funny..." I say almost in tears... "It is Love because there is no way you are not going to be a good mom... You are going to be amazing... Our little girl is so lucky..." He says kissing my forehead and i start to groan again as another contraction washes over me...

"Oh God, these hurt!" I say as the pain gets worse... "I am sorry love... If i could i would take your pain..." Chris whispers as he is dapping a cold a washcloth on my forehead... I am about to say something when the doctor and nurse walk back in... "Let's check shall we..." The doctor says and i just hope and pray it is time because i am getting tired... 

We are a few hours in and i can see it is getting light outside... I have no idea what time it is... "Please just get this baby out of me..." I beg him and he sighs... "I am sorry sweetheart... You are not quite there yet..." The doctor says... "I am not your fucking sweetheart..." I growl and the doctor looks at me... "Sorry..." He mumbles and i sigh... "I just want it out... Get it out... She has been in there long enough... Get... it... out!" I protest and Chris kisses the top of my head... 

"I am sorry your body is not ready yet... We will be back to check in a little while..." The doctor says and the nurse grins as he quickly rushes out after my reprimand... "Try to sleep a little bit... You are doing great..." She says before walking out and i sigh as i feel i am about to cry... 

"Can you please lay with me..." I plead with Chris... "I dont think that would be comfortable love..." Chris answers and i give him a death stare... "Get... in... the... bed... and... cuddle... me..." I bite at him, and he chuckles and takes off his shoes as i move to the side to make room for him... 

I sigh and cuddle into him as he wraps his arm around me... I hum as he plants a kiss on the top of my head... I close my eyes trying to get some rest but as soon as i do another contraction comes through and i grab Chris and i can hear him groan as i squeeze him... But he says nothing as he endures the pain i inflict on him... I dont mean to but it hurts so much that i only notice i hurt him as the contraction subsides... 

"Sorry..." I mumble but he shakes his head... "Dont worry love... Just focus on you i can take it..." He whispers and i smile closing my eyes again... I doze a little when the contractions start to come more often and a few minutes later the doctor comes in and Chris gets off the bed... The doctor checks me again and i let out a sigh of relief when he says the baby is crowning and it is time to start pushing...

The doctor tells me i can start pushing and i groan as it hurts... God it hurts... I feel like i am being split in half... I hold Chris his hand as he keeps kissing the top of my head saying i am doing so good... After pushing for a while i am drained and i know Chris means well but he is getting on his nerves... "God i hate you... You did this to me... We are never having sex again..." I growl at Chris, and he smirks... 

"Okay Neve one more push and you can hold your little girl..." The doctor says and i am so done, that i start to push with everything i got.... All of a sudden, the most beautiful sound fills the room... The sound of our girl crying... Our little girl is being lifted up and put on my chest... "Oh my god... Oh my god she is perfect..." I say crying looking at the little human laying on my chest... I look at our little girl who is screaming bloody murder and i start to laugh... "She is so perfect..." I whisper and look up at Chris who is crying to, and he leans in and kisses me hard... "You did it love... She is here... And yes, she is perfect..." He whispers as he looks at our little girl again... 

Chris gets to cut the umbilical cord and after a little while the nurse takes our little girl to get cleaned up while the doctor delivers the placenta... After that he fixes me down there and when the nurse comes back and hands Chris our little girl, she cleans me up... "Congratulations mom... Dad..." The doctor says smiling and i smile back at him... "Thank you... I am sorry for lashing out..." I whisper and the doctor starts laughing... "Dont worry i heard worse..." He says and i smile...

After all is said and done and we are alone with our little girl Chris hands her over to me so i can feed her... He scoots in beside me and we lay there in silence watching our little girl eat... After a while the nurse comes back in with a stack of paperwork.... 

"What is her name?" She asks and i look at Chris and the emotions take over... "I dont know..." I say and start to sob...