Giving in... Or giving up...

Chapter 62

Chris just stares at me not saying a word and i sigh and just continue cooking... I told him to really think about it but him not saying a word well it irks me... I take a deep breath and keep my focus on the pancakes... He still is not saying anything and i look at him from the corner of my eyes and i can see the wheels in his head turning... 

"I... I... " He starts to say and i look up at him... I can see it in his eyes... I know what is coming... It is so obvious... It is all written on his face... "I... can't... I still have so much to... I have to go..." He says breathing heavy panic written all over his face... and i just nod fighting back my tears... "Yep go..." I say and he looks at me hesitating for another moment... "I'm sorry..." He mumbles and then he turns around and walks out of the kitchen and a few moments later i hear the front door slam shut... 

I jump at the sound of the door slamming shot and me legs give out... I sink to the floor crying... Although i had said i was fine doing it on my own it still hurt... I didn't care that he didn't want me anymore... But the fact that he rejected our baby... My innocent little baby... My little bean that was part of me and part of him... He just walked away from that... I know it was not planned and not something either of us had wanted right now... I know we aren't even together but maybe part of me had hoped he wanted to be a dad for our little bean... Part of me had hoped that he would have wanted our baby... 

I smell something burning and i remember i was making pancakes.... So, i wipe away my tears and pull myself together... My pancakes are ruined and i throw them in the trash... I sigh and pull out my phone to order pancakes... I look around my apartment as i clean the kitchen and sigh... I know i was going to be staying her one more day but i dont want to... So, while i waited for my pancakes i changed my flight to Washington to one tonight and called the hotel to change my booking... My pancakes arrived and i ate happy to finally get some food in me...

I got dressed not bothering to hide my pregnancy anymore... Chris knew... So, there was no need to hide anymore and part of me was relieved... Part of me felt free... No secrecy anymore... As i was packing the last things i certainly wanted with me in Violethill i heard the front door open and close... "Hey i am home..." Scott yelled and i chuckled at the fact he called my place home... At least someone still saw this as home... "Bedroom..." I yell and Scott appears... "How was your party?" I ask... "Oh god it was crazy..." He says and i turn around and he starts to couch... 

"What the... You... You..." He starts to say stumbling over his words... "You are pregnant?" He asks and nod blushing... "Omg... Omg... Omg... Does Chris know... It is Chris's, right?" He says and i sigh... "Yes, it is his... Yes, he knows he was here earlier..." I say and Scott smiles... "Does this mean you two are getting back together?" Scott says all excited and i sigh... And the look on Scott his face goes sour... "No... He... Uhm... He... Oh god how am i going to say this... Well, he doesn't want the baby... He walked out saying he was sorry..." I mumble... 

"I am sorry what now...?" Scott said stepping closer to me and i sighed. "He said he had to go and that he was sorry something about that he still had so much to... But he didn't finish that sentence..." I say and Scott turns bright red... "I am going to kill him..." Scott says all angry starting to pace up and down... "Do you know where he is... I am going to kill him... I am going to smack some sense into him..." Scott says fuming and although i find it sweet that he cares the last thing i want is drama... 

"Scott..." I say but he doesn't respond as he keeps rambling... "Scott!" I yell and he stops talking looking at me... "Look i love that you care... I really do... But he doesn't want to be a dad... I dont want to force him... My baby deserves better... He or she deserves someone who is going to be there... We will be fine... Chris made his choice..." I say and Scott looks at me and pulls me into a hug... 

"Are you sure?" He whispers and i feel tears starting to come... I pull out of the hug and wipe away my tears... "Yeah, i am sure... He knows... And now i dont have to wonder if he will or won't... I can focus on getting my house ready for me and the baby and getting ready for the little one..." I say and Scott sighs... "Okay if that is really what you want... But for the record... I dont agree..." He says and i chuckle and hug him again... "I know Scott and thank you... But this is how it is going to be... I am sorry..." I say and he mumbles an okay... 

"Now can you do me a favor..." I whisper and he pulls out of the hug... "Of course, anything you need..." He says and i smile... "Something came up with the book tour and i have to leave tonight... Can you help me pack and put the boxes by the front door... And if you are not busy, could you let the movers in tomorrow..." I say lying a little and he chuckles... "Sure... But i carry the boxes... You are not lifting a finger... Not in your condition..." He says and laugh... 

"I am pregnant... Not dying... Scott..." I say and he shakes his head... "I know... But you put stuff in boxes i will carry them..." He says and i nod... The rest of the day is spend packing some more stuff and talking about the pregnancy... It is nice to be able to talk about it not having to hide it anymore... But then it is time to go... I need to leave to catch my flight... I grab the suitcases i had packed for the book tour and Scott helps me take them down to the awaiting car... We hug goodbye both of us emotional and i promise to call him when the baby is born... In return he promises to not meddle and let it go... 

It feels like a weight falls of my shoulders as the car drives off... At least i have answers and i dont have to hide anymore... I can focus on my baby and my new live in Violethill...