Giving in... Or giving up...

Chapter 35

I had not told Chris about Gina's text yet... I dont know if it was the smart thing to do but the conversation turned during dinner that i couldn't withhold it because Seb suggested for me to call Gina to tell Josh to leave me alone as he contacted me again...

"Yeah, i dont think it is going to work..." I mumble pushing my food around on my plate... "She set him up she can tell to back off..." Seb said going on and i sighed... "Can you just drop it please..." I said and he looked at me... The all looked at me... "She was the one who encouraged him to send flowers okay! Saying i should give him another chance so i can settle down and pop out kids like her... Become some clueless housewife..." I said annoyed pushing my plate away... I was no longer hungry the fact she had pushed Josh and wanted me to conform to her lifestyle irked me...

"Neve? What happened...?" Chris asked and i sighed pulling out my phone pulling up the text letting them read it... "Seriously what is wrong with my brother...?" Scott asked and i sighed shrugging my shoulders... "Were does she get the nerve to try and decide for you how you should life and with whom..." Scott says getting louder and louder... I shrug my shoulders again avoiding looking at Chris because if he has his sad face on again my heart will break...

I looked at my hand as Chris wrapped his around it and i finally had the courage to look up at him... "I am so sorry... I dont agree with a word she says..." I whisper as Scott is rambling on how he never liked Gina... I am starting to feel overwhelmed... Scott keeps rambling Seb is talking back at him that Gina is crazy... Calling her all sorts of names... Gina and Seb not getting along is not new... When i just got to know Gina, she had a crush on Seb and the feeling was not mutual... At first, he was trying to let her down easy because she was my friend. But in the end, he just became rude to her in the hopes she would get the message...

She was trying to be around him ever way she could, and it was driving him insane... I had told her so many times to stop that i just gave up and only made plans with her when Seb was not around... I should have given the friendship a long time ago... I dont know why i hadn't yet... Her obsession with Seb had only stopped when she met her now husband...

Chris is saying nothing is just holding my hand rubbing his thumb over the back of it, and my friend apparently wants to dictate how my life should be... Judging Chris while she never even met him...

Chris told me he loved me for the first time and i should be on cloud nine but instead it is overshadowed by frustration and i am closer to crying than smiling... Not to mention the thought of how Chris must be feeling right now... I could totally understand if he would leave... 

"Neve... Hello... NEVE!" Seb said trying to get my attention and i snapped out of my own thoughts... "Hmmm what?" I ask and he chuckles... "Are you okay?" He asks and i nod... "I am fine... Is everyone done eating?" I ask standing up and grabbing my plate and they all nodded and i start to clear the table... 

"Neve... I think you should..." Seb says and i sigh and drop everything in the sink... "What! Are you going to tell me what to do now to... Or how to feel... Please i haven't heard enough fucking opinions yet... It is like people think i can't think for myself! Just all keep you fucking opinions to yourselves... Whatever i do and who i do it with is up to me..." I say anger bubbling over and i know it is not fair to take it out on them they are in my corner but i am just sick of people making me feel like i am incompetent to decide for myself...

"Excuse me..." I mumble and walk off to my bedroom slamming the door behind me... I sigh and look at my phone and i know what i need to do so i open the text again and take a deep breath...

Gina... I read your text and i disagree... Josh is not the man you described him to be... The date went fine but i felt nothing for me there was no spark... The only thing i regret was lying about the fact that Chris meant nothing... But i was more lying to myself than to him... I dont think it is fair to demand from me to give Josh a second chance after the scene he made at my house and i not even going to bring up the fact you just gave him my address without consulting me... 

One date... One date and he act like he owns me... One date and he thinks i am going to throw all my plans overboard and give up my career to pop out his babies... The disrespect for everything i have worked so hard for is staggering... I get it being a housewife and stay at home mom is your dream, but it is not mine... So, i would appreciate it if you would stop forcing it upon me... I would also appreciate if you would stop encouraging Josh to seek contact... I dont want anything to do with him... If you like him so much divorce your husband and marry Josh... 

Whether you like it or not i am with Chris... I dont care what you think about it or him... You dont know him... I dont know what the future holds for him and i but it is none of your business... So, keep your opinions to yourself... If you can't be happy for me that i found someone who makes me feel good and loved than i think our friendship has run its course... I think it is better if we have no contact anymore... I dont think we can get passed this... Our lives are too different and i feel like you are trying to make me in something i am not for your own gain... I do wish you all the best... Be happy and live your life the way you want it... Just stay out of mine... 

There is a knock on the door and i realize i am crying... I press send and wipe away my tears... "Come in..." I say and Chris appears, and he walks over to me and sits down beside me on the bed and i lean into him... He wraps his arm around me and i lean back making us lie down and i cuddle into him more taking a deep breath giving in to the comfort he is giving me... Desperately needing the calm and quiet he can provide me... 

"Are you okay?" He whispers and i hum... "I am now..." I whisper and hand him my phone to let him read what i send Gina... Just to let him know that i dont care what people say to make sure he doesn't feel left in the dark... I am in... I have made my choice and no matter how scary i find it i am 100% in... 

"You make me feel good and loved to..." He whispers and i smile taking the phone out of his hand and throwing it aside so he can hold me... "I love you..." I whisper and i can feel him smile as he plants a kiss on my head hugging me a little tighter... "I love you to love..." He mumbles and i smile looking up and pressing my lips on his...