Euphoria | Naseem Shah.

23 | Solemn.

'Stars will fade, the moon will grow dim, time will wait here but till the last glimmer of hope, till my last breath, i won't give you up, i will wait for you.'

He wrote in his diary, he was quite fond of writing and the diary he wrote in was pretty secretive, he didn't want to be called a sixteen year old girl who wrote about her new crush in a diary.

A smile crept up his lips, he adored writing about what he remembered about her, blushing like crazy, he hid his face in a pillow.

Often, he had dreams about her.

But all of her seemed to be— faceless, as if she never existed, as if this was all just an imagination for him to forget the troubles of life, but even if this was all just a temporary dream, who gave him the locket? and why did she leave?

His face broke out in a sweat, he jolted upright, panting heavily, "She's real, she's real! i can't be imagining her." He clutched his locket.

His fear was thinking she isn't real.

He grabbed his book and strolled through the pages of when he had drawn her, it hurt him to not draw her face as he couldn't remember her properly, his fingers softly traced the sketch.

We'll meet someday, don't know when.

His face glimmered with hope of meeting her someday, his heart jumped with ecstasy, smiling he laid back down, tightly holding the diary close to his chest.

~

Cleansing the pain.

I stood underneath the showerhead, the water hitting my face— hot water hurt but in a good way, i pushed back my hair, eyes still tightly closed.

But soon i opened my eyes, as everything came haunting back again, my nails dug in my skin harshly, slowly i looked at the scars, feeling disgusted with my own self.

In rage, i rubbed the hot water all over the scars, rubbing them harshly, in hope of them going away, they stayed and that's what pushed me over the edge.

I stood under the running shower, with disgust all over my body, but slowly i sat back down, weeping silently, holding my own self.

When will this ever go?

Bottling up all the emotions, i wanted to let go of the past, but it wouldn't leave me, it stuck on my body as a reminder of what i've done with myself.

Slowly i cried, repeatedly telling it to go away, it was stubborn, clawing my own self, i scratched my thighs, arms, even my legs.

"Just go away!" I screamed to myself, blood oozed out, the hot water stinging on the scars, it stung so bad i hate it.

After a while, i picked myself up and wore my clothes, not thinking about the little moment i had in the shower, i looked at my blotchy and puffy face, but looking away from the mirror immediately.

I hate looking in the mirror.

As i returned as if nothing has happened, i went on my phone, oh god damn they message alot.

KIDS ON CRACK💯

Wormtail: hello peeps :)

KiranLovesKiran: kainaaaaaaaaat!!!

Shadabkabab: looking at my username i'm now craving kababs 😊

Kainaatluver: shadab have u found a date yet

Shadabkabab: are you trying to remind me that i'm single? you are so mean!