Taming His Stallion [BWWM]

43_Tightrope

Paege

Breathe, Paege. Breathe.

This really isn't happening–couldn't be happening. To me. Again.

I blinked my eyes repeatedly, trying to keep it together. For the umpteenth time since this day began, inhaling slowly and deeply as I had done numerous times in the past hour.

That method seemed to do the trick, assisting to suppress another wave of tears that threatened to pull me under.

I know that I had to get a grip, but that was easier said than done.

To be quite honest, I was utterly surprised that I'd held it together for as long as, and as well, as I had.

The turmoil brewing inside of me was getting more volatile by the second.

Obviously, I couldn't detach as well as I thought. Not while two beauties I cared about were being held captive on a joyride with two apparent lunatics.

It's not so easy flipping that switch.

Especially, given a situation like this. When there was no indication of what would happen next.

And where things could go south pretty quickly.

Let's face it! I was completely on edge and having a slow meltdown.

Not my best chapter, I'll admit.

But tried as I might, I failed several times to keep a cool disposition.

One thing resonated in my mind, however. A prayer of sorts–an oath. The single thread that held my sanity together.

It's not enough to try. We have to get them back.

Every moment this draws on, pushes me closer to the brink. Closer to crumbling.

In moments like these, it seems like fate is a vicious tyrant. And would I be wrong for coming to such a conclusion?

I mean, how awful could one be, to allow my oldest and dearest friend back into my life, only to rip her right from within my grasp, again?

Hadn't Tempers and I been through enough already?

Hadn't we endured the agony? The scars of being torn apart, for so many years, like a couple of good champs?

Wasn't that enough?

Apparently, not.

When I'd lost her that first time, I had been devastated. Barely able to grasp the delicacy, and intricacies of a polarizing instant that would change the trajectory of my life, forever.

Certainly, not in the sting of the moment.

Even then, I was unable to understand why that particular jab seemed to hurt so much.

Beyond the reality of losing my favourite horse and best friend, Tempers was a part of me. And she was also the last gift of my mother and father.

The lasting embodiment of all their hopes and dreams, and wishes for me.

In her absence, obviously, I would be nothing less than wrecked.

And that I was.

Utterly crushed.

So I felt that loss and I grieved silently for most of my adult life. But I was able to hold it together. Even if only barely.

I had been coping. Coping for just about twenty years, give or take.

But when I first saw her again – that night at the auction – my entire being seemed to be holding a breath.

I realize now, it was a silent prayer that I would be able to hold on to her tightly, and never let her out of my sight again.