Trixya one shots

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Disclaimer! I really don't mean to be insensitive when writing about panic attacks or mental health struggles. Although this chapter deals with heavy matters I in no way am trying to be offensive to Katya and Trixie or to anyone dealing with mental health. This chapter mainly focuses on Anxiety which happens to be something I suffer from which is why I selected it. Please enjoy!

Katyas POV

This tour has been insane. It would be an understatement to say that I'm feeling a little bit exhausted. Mentally and physically I'm a wreck. Myself, Alaska, Trixie, Bianca, Adore, and Cortney have been travelling across the world for the past few months. Finally we're on our second last stop. Canada. The last thing we had to accomplish before packing our bags and heading back home is the meet and greet.

I don't like to admit when I'm having a hard time. That's not my character. People perceive me as someone who can laugh off anything. They know my past but all they've ever seen is me joke about it. I highly doubt that they take it seriously.

Thats why I'm especially nervous about the line wrapping around the the theatre. Throngs of people waiting ti see me and talk to me and touch me and ask me question and make jokes and expect me to be funny and...

I have to remind myself to breath. I remind myself that this will only take an hour and a half and then me and the girls are grabbing dinner. At least there something to look forward too.

We made a group decision to split ourselves up today. We could cover toms more ground if we paired up in various locations through the auditorium. It would create less lines and hopefully weed people out faster.

Although I had thought it would make most sense to be paired with my best friend and business  partner Trixie, everyone else had said otherwise.

" if we pair the two of you up nobody's going to get out of here any quicker. The line to meet you guys will be insanely long and  no offence but you guys will get off task so much together I doubt we'll even be able ti have dinner" Alaska had said earlier. She wasn't wrong.

Here I sit now beside Courtney. She's stunning and gorgeous and bubbly. She has amazing banter. But I can't talk ti her when I'm nervous. We're friends but we're not Trixie and Katya kind of friends.

The doors open and Courtney shoots me a glance off defeat. She must hate this almost as much as I do.

" Hi oh my god I'm Ellie. I'm from Winston Ontario and.." her voice trailed off as Courtney entertained then for a few minutes before nudging me to pose for a selfie.

Suddenly the room became loud. Was it this way a few minutes ago? I felt my head spin and my bison go foggy.

" Shit" I whispered causing the beautiful blonde beside me to  pause.

" You okay Katya?" She asked sweetly. The fan was standing patiently awaiting a response to some idiotic question that had just been asked.

" no" I groaned no longer having the energy to hide my emotions. " I want Trixie" I sighed head in hands.

" Well we'll see her in a half hour"she shot an apologetic look ti the fan.

" No I need her now." I tried to say it with force but it sounded weak.

" okay fine" she said motioning for a security guard ti intervene. She whispered into his ear and he immediately headed in trixies direction. I hope she's not mad.

Trixies POV

Apparently all of Canada wants to get me and Bianca to sign their merch. We were buy for the booth with the most line. I'm not going to lie and say I'm enjoying myself. It's not that I'd iron love my supporters, it has more to do with the time of day.

I was signing some guys sweater when Liam the security guard approached me.

" Please make your way down to booth 2" he said exasperated as if he had rushed the whole way here.

" Liam buddy I'm in the middle of this" I groaned wanting to get this over with.

" it's Katya. She's having a.." he paused and leaned down into my ear and said. " menwral break down/panic attack"

I gasped. Now?

I flew out of my seat and made my way quickly down the stairwell to the lobby down the hallway and around to find her. She was still seated at the both putting on a peasemt face but I know those eyes.

I made my way over to where she was standing. I patted her back three times signalling her to follow me to the now empty seats int he theater. It was weird to be in here with lights on.

" what's up?" I asked.

She only shrugged.

" okay" I said waiting. In these situations it's always better to wait for her to speak first.

" I'm nobody's favourite person. That's not what's bothering me it's just what I'm thinking about right now" she said turning to face me.

" What?" I was genuinely shocked. I thought it was obvious she was somebody's favorite person. " Brian?"

" I don't know. You have David, Bianca has adore, a.." I cut her off before she could continue.

" Brian are you serious? Your my favourite person! You have been for almost a decade. Stop talking that nonsense" I huffed.

" Trix you can't say that now that your in a long term relationship." It was almost as if I could see actual pain in his eyes.

" I can say whatever I want" I countered

"Well you shouldn't. David loves you and he would heartbroken ti know he's not your number one" his eyes were frowning. Now I feel sad. He's right. David should be my favourite person. But he's far from it. The person I love the most is sitting right beside me. Things would get too messy if I said that though. So instead we gather ourselves and head back out.

Katya leaves calmer than when she entered but I've never been so distracted and confused.  The love I have for my friend is nothing I've ever felt before.

As watch as she makes her way back too the booth. Just as she's about to round the corner she pauses and looks back at me mouthing the words ' Thankyou'.

That's when I know. I did something stupid.

I fell in love.