Didhaksaya

~28~

Jungkook's pov
Everyone was asleep in the palace. But i was wide awake. How could I sleep when i don't know what my princess is doing?
It's been a few days since we arrived here. And the queen, her sister has gone to her nagari as a ritual. I had the urge to leave with her but i couldn't. Also noone except eomma knows that I love the princess of hriday nagari. And i don't know if i want to tell anyone or not.
I shifted to other side of the bed and looked out of the window. The moonlight came straight inside my room. And i could see the moon very clearly. It reminded me of nayani. How she gazed at the moon and got happy. How..we met under the moonlight.
Its all about her now. The mornings when i practice i can only imagine her keen eyes trying hard to fight me with her sword.
The small droplets remind me of her lips. And how they taste like. The nights are all about her. The sunsets remind me of the dagger she gifted me.
Somehow she came in my life as a nothing and became my everything.
I have no idea if she misses me or thinks of me the same as i do but i do know that she must be looking at the moon right now.
I got up and went near the window.
As if the moon could become our mode of conversation i started speaking to it.
"How are you? How have you been doing?"
I got no response. Ofcourse, i would be a fool to ask for a reply from the moon.
"You know i am trying to do something good in my life for the second time. The first time i did something good was say i love you to you" i smiled at when i told her that i had loved her and i couldn't see her with anyone else but me.
"If you ever think about me then please send me a sign. A letter? Or anything! I will wait for it. i love you" i said still smiling.
In my 20 years of life i had never imagined i will be talking to the moon. But here i am.
I went back to the bed and layed down still staring at the moon.
And then suddenly the thought of what i am planning on doing comes to my mind. And all i can think about is, how will nayani react when she will come to know about the things i have been thinking of doing? That too to my own nation. When dad is her father's friend.
And what will she think of me when she will know what has happened to her jiju's empire? Will she forgive me?
A chuckle escapes my lips.
You seriously think that after what you are going to do to her sisters house she will even look at your face? How much more delusional you want to be?
My inner voice said. It had been taunting me the whole time i was falling in love with nayani. Just i didn't let it come out. And i didn't act on it. But if only I would've listened to what it told me. I wouldn't have been laying her regretting either my plan or my love.
If someone would've asked me about my feelings before i went India. I would've laughed at their faces saying i don't do feelings. But now? All i can think about is if i should choose my plan i have been working on for past 5 years or the love that made me felt alive in my whole lifetime.
I was about to shut my eyes and try to get these unwanted thoughts out when i head a screeching sound.
I looked out of the window and i saw 'hunter'. It's my pet eagle.
I got up and went to the window. I extended my arms for hunter to sit on it. It came and sat there.
I slowly untied the note on his legs and took a piece of meat and kept it on the window. He sat there quietly eating his food.
I opened the note and started reading.

"We are ready to form an alliance with you. But we do have some conditions we want you to agree upon. And for the further discussion we want to meet you personally at the same place we met last time.

-jeon."

Reading the letter a sigh escaped my lips.
I love my country and i have been giving it my everything since i knew i had to. And in future aswell i will keep on giving.
But life is not as smooth as one thinks it will be.
For me as well life was good. It was good even after my father treated me like a burden until my 15th birthday.

It was when i knew that life is not as beautiful as one thinks of it. And the ugliness is sometimes too haunting to even see.
For me, i was not haunted but i was stunned and shocked. It just didn't felt real to me. And that changed everything. My reason to live and my reason to be the best version of myself.
Someone who can fight and someone who is not vulnerable. Vulnerability kills ambitions and i was the last person to be vulnerable until a girl came stumbling in my life almost killing me with her arrow. And yet i fell in love with her.
Someone who managed to show me that i am not the best sword fighter yet. But i still fell in love like that was what i was supposed to do. Like loving nayani was the reason i was breathing. Like his Krishna ji as she says made me for her to love me and made her for me to love her.
She had said this to me one night when we sat in the garden staring at her moon.
Yes, it was hers. If you will ask me. Everything i can land my eyes on are hers.
And there i was again distracted by her.
The crime i commited was Falling in love.
And i am a criminal to my 16 year old self.
And if i came face to face with him I would gladly and proudly accept it. Because no matter what the consequences will be. No matter what nayani's reaction will be. She will always be the strength i was lacking till now and i never realised i needed the most to execute my plan.