Bad Romance

Chapter 1

Writer's Note: Python was a monstrous dragon-serpent set to guard the sacred oracle of Delphi.

Chapter 1: Think I'll Die Another Day

2 May, 1998, Great Hall at Hogwarts to Ministry for Magic

Bellatrix was high on the fight as she always was, especially when dueling more than one at a time. Thrilled and invigorated, she easily dodged hexes while skillfully flinging her own at lightning speed in several directions at once. Granted these girls were only children, but one had to take their sport where they could get it these days. Then something unusual happened...something that had never happened to Bellatrix Lestrange before. Something she'd never considered. Amusement, even hilarity blended with her battle lust at the next turn of events.

Molly Weasley, of all people, flung herself into the fray. She actually believed she could take Bellatrix out! Bellatrix had always thought the woman to be stupid, and now she was certain. And she called her a bitch...as if the truth hurt or something.

Bellatrix laughed in her face. She wondered what kitchen tool Molly, mother of too many Weasleys, planned to use for the killing blow. A frying pan perhaps, or a kitchen mop or...no, wait...a set of knitting needles... or yes, one of those hideous Christmas sweaters... Looking at one of those for too long might just kill anyone.

No, she opted for her wand, her final mistake... Bellatrix was going to kill her like a redheaded stepchild and make her daughter watch before killing her too! Then it happened. She was struck from behind, and felt herself falling. Her knees buckled, and her wand fell from suddenly numb fingers as she attempted to catch herself.

Distantly, she heard a man speaking in congratulatory tones. "You've done it, Mrs. Weasley! You've managed to kill Bellatrix Lestrange!"

NOOOOOOO! That couldn't be, especially as the blow had come from behind, and she'd dodged Molly Weasley's Killing Curse as easily as if it had been thrown by a baby.

"We'll just get the body," the same man's voice spoke.

Not a body, though, because dead bodies could not hear conversations going on around them. Not even if it belonged to her. There was a firm hand on her shoulder, and then the sensation of Apparating, and then she was throwing up.

What had they done to her?

"Good," the same man's voice spoke for a third time. "You're alright, then."

"I'm throwing up, asshole," she managed.

"Yes. If I'd hurt you, you'd not be awake while doing so which would result in choking and possible death. Which would truly be a shame."

"Shut up," she groaned.

"What is the meaning of this?" Bella would know that low sexy voice anywhere. It belonged to Rod.

She hastily straightened, pushing hair out of her eyes to peer around for her husband, instantly comforted by his presence. "Roddy."

"What, are you planning to kill us here, execution style or something? I don't plan to go down without a fight."

All three were accounted for, because that was Rabastan. Bellatrix turned to see the two Lestrange men standing behind her. Their arms and legs were contorted and stiff, caught in strong binding charms.

"Just how are you going to do that while they've got you in a binding charm, Rabastan," Bellatrix asked, lips twitching in amusement at her brother-in-law.

From the fact her arms and legs were still numb, Bellatrix could tell they'd hit her with a stunner instead...no, make that about ten of them, because this was bad. Her muscles twitched and hurt, and she couldn't have stood if someone had offered her all the gold in Gringotts to do so.

"How many of you hit me with stunners?" she growled, looking for the man who'd kept talking once she was down. That must be him standing in the corner, shortish and thin with boring short, brown hair and dodgy blue eyes.

"Ten of us," he replied. "We wanted to use the fight with Mrs. Weasley to make it appear that you were killed."

Bellatrix smirked, then gave a derisive cackle. "Well, then you shouldn't have used her, because no one is going to believe she could've taken me."

"Ah, but they do believe it. More and more are believing it right now as we speak. The reasons for this are simple." He held up one finger. "For one, people want to believe in the fierceness of a mother's love conquering all odds."

Bellatrix felt her lip curling back in a sneer, but before she could make clear what rubbish it was, he was holding up another finger.

"And for another, Mrs. Lestrange, people want to believe what makes them rest easier at night... In this case, you being dead will help many, many people rest easier at night."

"And us?" Rabastan pressed, always the cheeky one. "How are we going to rest?"

Rodolphus nodded. "Indeed. Because if you'd planned to kill us, you'd have done it back at Hogwarts. So what gives?"

"That, Mr. Lestrange, is the best question the three of you have asked yet," the bland Ministry man told Rodolphus.

"What we want you for is simple. We want your skills. You are trackers, hunters, killers, and your skills at torture can get information from anyone or anything."

"Compliments will get you everywhere," Bellatrix said, batting her lashes at Mr. ShortStuff.

"We hope so," he replied seriously. "Or rather we hope our offer will appeal to you enough to take it, because doing so gets you free and not doing so gets you dead."

"Ah, now you're just talking dirty," Rabastan snarked, lips twitching. "Death threats always get me so hot... but see, blokes aren't my thing. Don't you have a hot lady Auror who can talk that sort of trash to me?"

Bellatrix snickered, glancing at Rodolphus, who was strangely serious. "You want us to work for you," he asked Mr. ShortStuff incredulously. "This isn't some sort of joke?"

Mr. ShortStuff shook his head. "I never joke, Mr. Lestrange. It's a waste of time. When we were certain that Voldemort had returned, we hunted him with all the resources we had. We borrowed resources from three other Ministries as well. As you are aware, we came up with nothing. It is our belief that if the three of you were working for us, you could've located him or tortured the information from his followers had you not been among them. Rest assured he will be captured or killed today. What I ask you is will you join him, or live?"

"We're pro-life," Rodolphus said, lips twisting into a grim smile.

Though Bellatrix felt that perhaps her husband was selling all of them out or making the wrong decision, the only emotion she felt was relief.