Bad Romance

Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Raise Your Glass If You Are Wrong In All the Right Ways

Rodolphus Apparated them out of the Ministry without another word. Bellatrix stood stiffly while he flicked his wand at the layers of hexes that locked the door of their family manor.

"Want a drink, then," he asked as the heavy oak door swung open with a properly menacing creak. Bellatrix shrugged as she brushed past him to walk inside. Swearing, Rodolphus allowed the door to slam shut behind him as he followed after her. "I don't know why you're so angry with me. My asshole would've hurt more if he'd called on me for the task, and yet I still would've done it. My asshole feels it is more important considering how torn it would be."

Normally, Bellatrix would've laughed and maybe said something snarky to top Rod's comment. Right now, though, she just didn't have the heart for it. "You shouldn't have been alright with it if he had wanted to drill your asshole, Roddy," she said dully.

"I'm just saying it isn't as if I would have expected you to do something I wouldn't have done," Rodolphus attempted to clarify. "It isn't as if either of us would've liked it. We'd have just suffered through it because he was him, and one didn't fucking tell him 'no' if you recall." Rodolphus let out an explosive breath. "Damn, Bella, you're all angry at me over something that didn't even happen! The Dark Lord probably never even beat his prick off before, much less put it into anyone. He was above all that and just wanted to focus on dominating the wizarding world...with his clout, not his prick."

"Did he even have one," Rabastan asked, wandering into the front hall to join them. "And why are we speaking of the Dark Lord's prick?"

"I don't know," Rodolphus grumbled. "Ask Bella." He stalked toward the kitchen, and Bellatrix paused in the front hall, uncertain what she wanted to do next. If she went upstairs to continue giving Rodolphus the silent treatment, she'd be left alone in her own head, and for some reason that she did not fully understand, that was a frightening prospect at present. Instead she turned to Rabastan, who was still waiting for her explanation. "Some girl thinks I shagged the Dark Lord and that I am her mother."

He snickered. "This is some kind of joke or is said girl off her rocker? If it is a joke, it's very poorly done. Both of you have done far better without even trying."

She sighed. "If it is a joke, it isn't ours." She filled him in on their unpleasant little interlude at the Ministry, including the fact her mind had not been tampered with in the late nineties, but had been, along with Rodolphus's, in the late seventies.

"It's quite likely yours was as well, as we were always together back then," she added, almost happy to share the unpleasant weight of dread with another. A pity it didn't make it any lighter in her mind.

"Does that mean the two of you won't be in the mood for company," Rabastan asked. "Because Kreacher's little friend is here waiting in the parlor with big news."

"What news," Bellatrix asked. The only friend Kreacher had who was particularly little was Kereston Boxwood, a tiny blonde girl who worked in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes at the Ministry and had aspirations of becoming Minister. She was a former Slytherin, of which Bellatrix approved, but one of her goals for improving the Ministry involved killing high security prisoners rather than locking them up only for them to escape later and return to the crimes that got them locked up in the first place. The concept Bella could admire, but if the three Lestranges were still prisoners, they'd be the first to die were this carried out... and that was just no good.

"I think she should explain that," Rabastan replied carefully, and Bellatrix felt a tightening of annoyance in her stomach. Hadn't they had enough rubbish today? "Tell her we'll be right in," she told her brother-in-law, then hurried into the kitchen to take Rodolphus up on that drink. They'd probably need it.