A broken heart

Chapter 32

We both laughed at her first sentences. But her last few reminded me, yet again, just how badly I had mistreated her and for how long.

"That's all great Roza moya. I am really glad to hear that you got along with my family so well. I have always known that you would, I have always known that all of you would love each other and get along so well if I ever actually got the chance to introduce you to them. And once again, I am sooo yeblya sorry detka. SOOOO yeblya sorry lyubov' moya, sorrier than I can EVER say or show you angel of mine." (my, fucking, baby, fucking, my love)

"Yeah, it was exceedingly difficult to part with all of them when we had to leave. And I miss all of them terribly, Lissa and I both do actually. I know that you are sorry lyubov' moy, and I also know that if you knew the truth about me then all of that would never have happened. So, I basically hurt myself by not telling you." (my love)

I carefully and gently wiped a tear away, with my thumb, as it rolled down her cheek. "Hey, please don't cry, you will get to see them again detka I promise. And I am sure that they all miss you just as much as you miss them. As for the terrible things that I did to you. It was not your fault angel of mine, it was... it was just the circumstances that we found ourselves in. Regardless of why those terrible things happened, I will always take responsibility for them onto my own shoulders. Because no matter what the situation I should never have spoken to nor treated you the way that I did. I should have sat you down and talked to you, like an adult. I should never have spoken to you or treated you as if you were a child. Because you have never gotten the chance to be a child. You have always had far too many responsibilities placed upon your shoulders for anyone of your age. Even someone who is as amazing, strong, loving, kind and intuitive as you are dorogaya moya. As I said, I should have spoken to you and treated you as an adult because you ARE an adult, regardless of your chronological age." (baby, my darling)

She nodded but also sniffled again. "It's all right detka, I completely understand that." (baby)

I could tell that she was still sad because she misses my family probably almost as much as I do myself. So, I tried to lighten her mood again because I hated it when she was sad, and I just couldn't stand to see her cry. It just breaks my yeblya heart to see her shed tears that are not in joy or happiness. So, I asked her, "what if, after we get settled back in after we get back from the ski lodge, we skype them? Just you and me the first few times and then we can ask Lissa if she wants to join us on let's say... the fourth call?" (fucking)

I could see happiness as it suddenly glowed in her eyes. She was so happy and excited she just seemed to glow and radiate pure joy, excitement, and happiness. "Really?!! Can we really do that?!!"

I couldn't help but laugh at how happy this one small suggestion has made her. Just the suggestion, not even the follow through yet, has made her so shockingly, incredibly happy.

I kissed her on her forehead. "Yes, of course we can milaya moya, of course we can. And if Lissa would like to introduce them to Christian then that would be fine too." (my dearest)

She tackled me back onto the bed and started kissing me all over my face and neck. All the while saying, "thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you sooo much Mitya!!!"

Unlike ninety-eight percent of the other royals that I have met, it took sooo extraordinarily little to make her happy. While most of the other royals were never happy with anything that they ever have or do. And I think that is because where my angels' heart is filled with love and compassion for others. Regardless of how people have treated and spoken to and about her, for her entire life, the other royals' hearts are empty dead lumps of emptiness. Hence why nothing ever makes them happy, there is never enough of anything to fill a bottomless pit after all.