The whole world is my crematorium

39

Xiao Du’s face was distorted, blue veins on the backs of his hands protruded violently, and his anger and humiliation were unspeakable. On the surface, he looked at Xiao Yuan condescendingly; in fact, Xiao Yuan had stepped on his heart and trampled on it mercilessly.

Xiao Yuan didn’t want his heart; he would rather sleep with another man! Something so important, something so precious, he practically gave him half his life and he didn’t want it…… As Xiao Yuan said, something he regarded as a treasure was worthless in his eyes.

Look for a man… Who, who will Xiao Yuan look for?! He restrained himself from thinking about the past, otherwise if he thought of Xiao Yuan and those many men he was dual-cultivating with, he would want to kill in fury. But he knew very well that it was he who caused the current situation. He thought he wouldn’t care, he didn’t understand why he cared. Wasn’t it just sleeping with someone? Sleeping once doesn’t mean anything. Short-lasting love affairs could be found everywhere in the romantic scene. As long as Xiao Yuan came back in the end, there was nothing to worry about in the past. What he wanted was Xiao Yuan, not his chastity.

But he cared, he just cared! He couldn’t help but imagine Xiao Yuan’s appearance in bed, imagine him in a million different ways under one man after another, their faces blurred; imagine his eyes drunk, his lips slightly opened as he whispered ambiguously… His emotions were surging, his headache was splitting, he was almost beyond himself with rage. He didn’t even know what to do to make himself feel better. But Xiao Yuan reminded him of it again and again, every word stinging his heart, and he had no power to fight back.

When did he treat anyone like he treated Xiao Yuan? If someone dared to provoke him like this, he would have been dead and his ashes scattered a hundred times. Xiao Yuan was the only one. He hated that he couldn’t absorb his bones into his body, or really use the soul-possession technique on him for a lifetime, so that he would always be obedient and stay by his side. It’s not that he hadn’t thought about it, he almost did it in shock and anger. But he still couldn’t bear doing it after all.

Love and hatred intertwined in Xiao Du’s eyes, then gradually the turmoil calmed down, leaving only sadness and helplessness. This was exactly what being trapped felt like; all his joys and sorrows were in the palm of another person, and no matter how unwilling he was, he could only watch himself sink deeper and deeper, and in the end he couldn’t even get angry.

He did lose, but it didn’t matter. As long as Xiao Yuan stayed by his side for a day more, he would not lose everything.

Xiao Du looked at Xiao Yuan and said softly, “Do you think I will allow you to find a man?”

“Yes,” Xiao Yuan said, “isn’t it just a matter of dual cultivation? It’s just an everyday occurrence for you. Why will you forbid me to eat?”

Xiao Du smiled, and his eyes filled with chill, “It will be the 15th in a few days, so you can think about it again. You will either change your mind about my offer, endure it, or…” Xiao Du lowered his voice, his breath scalding, “Come to me.”

Xiao Yuan raised his eyebrows and said, “Oh?”

Xiao Du’s voice was low and hoarse: “You once asked me about the method of dual cultivation. I can teach you.”

“Thank you, Your Lordship, for recommending yourself as a pillow mat and for throwing yourself into my arms,” Xiao Yuan said clearly, “but I don’t need it.”