I Can't Help It - Steve Rogers

Chapter 80

Steve and Rachel jump over the balcony and land in the alley with the sceptre in hand. "Cap" Tony calls, catching Steve and Rachel's attention. "Sorry buddy, we got a problem" he adds as Scott scoffs. They explain that they essentially lost the tesseract. "Well what are we gonna do?" Steve asks. "You know what? Give me a break Steve. I just got hit in the head with the Hulk" Tony argues frustrated. "You said that we had one shot. This was our shot. We shot it. It's shot. Six stones or nothing. Six stones or nothing" Scott states angrily, clearly agitated by the situation. "You're repeating yourself, you know that? You're repeating yourself" Tony interrupts. "You're repeating yourself. You're repeating yourself" Scott responds and Rachel rolls her eyes, turning away from the group.

"No, you weren't on board with the time heist. You never wanted the time heist. You ruined the time heist" Scott argues. "I dropped the ball" Tony admits. "Are there any other options with the tesseract?" Steve asks. "No, no, no, there's no other options. There's no do-overs. We're not going anywhere else, we have one particle left, each. That's it" Scott states, getting on Rachel's last nerve. "Ok Scott, you need to relax. I think we're all on edge right now but you yelling and blaming isn't helping anyone. We have to think of something" she says looking back at Steve.

"I got it!" Tony says excitedly. "There's another way to retake the tesseract and acquire new particles. Little stroll down memory lane. Military installation, Garden State" he continues. "When were they both there?" Steve questions. "They were there at a time... I have a vaguely exact idea" Tony answers honestly. "How vague?" Steve asks seriously. Scott tries interrupting them to know what's happening but Tony and Steve continuing discussing it and Rachel's heartrate increases as she realises what they're doing.

"Guys, what is it?" Scott asks when they're finally quiet. "Looks like we're improvising" Steve answers and Rachel's heart drops. "What are we improvising?" Scott asks. "Scott, get this back to the compound" Steve orders. "Woah, woah. Steve" Rachel says, stepping in front of him as Tony tells him to suit up. "What are you doing?" she asks in disbelief. "Whatever it takes" he answers and the tears build in her eyes. "I don't like this" she states shakily and Steve sighs sadly.

"For the record, the only reason I'm not going with you is because we have two kids waiting for us, so at least one of us needs go home. But Steve, you had better come back because I can't raise them without you" she says as a few tears fall down her cheeks. Steve instantly cups her face and wipes away her tears. "I'm coming home" he tells her confidently. "But in case I don't-" he starts but Rachel starts shaking her head in his hands. "If I don't, you tell those kids how much I love them" he says and she nods with a sad smile. "We've got this, don't worry about me" he adds. "I can't help it" she replies with a knowing smile and he chuckles at her. "I love you" she says with her best smile. "I love you too" he replies before pulling her into a long kiss.

Steve stands with Tony, syncing up their GPS's. "Tony" Rachel calls and both men look at her. "You bring him back to me" she points her finger at him and Tony nods his head. "I will" he assures her. "You come back together" she adds, emphasising the 'together'. They both not at her with an assuring smile before making the jump to 1970 New Jersey, leaving Scott and Rachel alone.

---

Rachel lands on their quantum tunnel, back in the present and instantly looks to her right to see Steve and Tony, both in different clothes. She sighs in relief and Steve smiles back at her happily. Everyone starts checking everyone got their stones and begins getting excited that their plan actually worked. Until Clint falls to his knees and everyone looks to see him, without Nat. "Clint, where's Nat?" Bruce questions but Clint only looks up to Rachel with tear-filled eyes. The room becomes silent as everyone realises what's happened.

Rachel walks towards Clint and kneels in front of him and wraps her arms around him, holding her own tears back. Clint slowly wraps his arm around Rachel's waist and finally allows the tears to fall from his eyes. Rachel squeezes him tight and he does the same.

Rachel, Clint, Steve, Tony, Thor and Bruce all gather outside by the lake to hear what happened to Nat. Rachel sits beside Steve with their hands intertwined and tears running down both their faces. Their best friend had sacrificed herself for the stone, so that everyone they've lost could come back. "Do we know if she had family?" Tony ask after a few minutes of silence. "Yeah. Us" Steve answers while Rachel looks up at Clint as he stares out at the lake. "What?" Thor questions, making his way to Tony. "What are you doing?" he adds. "I was just asking a question" Tony states calmly. "No, you're acting like she's dead. Why are we acting like she's dead? We have the stones right? As long as we have the stones, Rachel, we can bring her back. Isn't that right?" Thor continues, looking to Rachel as she lowers her head, swallowing the flood of tears behind her eyes.

"So, stop this shit. We're the Avengers. Get it together" Thor tells everyone. "We can't get her back" Clint states, finally speaking and Rachel looks up at him. "It can't be undone. It can't" Clint adds when Thor looks at him confused. "Look, I'm sorry, no offense, but you're a very earthly being. And we're dealing with space magic and 'can't' seems very definitive, don't you think?" Thor argues and Rachel feels the need to step in and stop him. "Look, I know I'm way outside my pay grade here. But she still isn't here is she?" Clint responds and Rachel realises he's getting worked up and thinks she should intervene. "It can't be undone" Clint interrupts Thor's reasoning. "Or that's at least what the red, floating guy had to say. Maybe you wanna go talk to him ok? Go grab your hammer and you go fly and you talk to him!" Clint begins to shout and Rachel is stood in front of him by the time he's finished.

She brings her hands up to his arms with a soft "Clint" in an attempt to calm him down and comfort him. "It was supposed to be me" he says with a voice crack, not moving his gaze from hers. Rachel's expression softens before he continues. "She sacrificed her life for that goddamn stone. She bet her life on it" he raises his voice in frustration and everyone can tell he's fighting the emotions and lump in his throat.

Suddenly, Bruce grunts and throws a bench across the lake in anger. "She's not coming back. We have to make it worth it. We have to" he states in defeat and determination as he turns to the rest of the team. "We will" Steve replies as he stands. Everyone starts making their way back into the compound and Rachel takes Steve's hand when she reaches him. She glances over her shoulder to see Clint still staring out at the lake. She stops and watches to see if he's gonna join them but when she notices he isn't she looks back at Steve to see him already stopped and watching her. He nods at her before squeezing her hand and kissing her cheek and letting go.

She makes her way to Clint and stands beside him for a few seconds before taking his hand in hers. "It's not your fault" she assures him and he looks over at her. "We both know how stubborn she was. Once she'd made her mind up on something, that was it. There was no stopping her" she smiles assuringly. "I really tried to" he mutters. "I know, it's ok" she replies before resting her head on his shoulder. He releases her hand and pulls her into a side hug before turning around and they both make their way into the compound with their arms wrapped around each other.

After entering the compound they both go separate ways and Rachel is dragged off by Steve. She looks up at him in confusion before he cups her face and wipes the tears from her cheeks. "Let it out" he says simply. "What?" she questions. "I know you've been holding yourself together for Clint and I don't want you to keep it bottled up. So let it all out, cry, scream, whatever you need. You can fall apart in front of me, I'm not gonna leave" he explains and she can't believe how well he knows her and how lucky she is to have him. She tears up but is still reluctant to fall apart, she worries that once she starts, she won't be able to stop.

"It's ok. I'm here" he assures her and that's all it takes for the flood gates to collapse. Tears pour from her eyes and the sobs fall from her lips as she grips at Steve's shirt. He quickly wraps his arms around her as she falls into his chest. He holds her tightly against him while she cries and clings to him for dear life. He rubs her back and strokes her hair until her sobs have turned to shaky breaths and eventually they're both just standing in each others arms, thinking of and missing Natasha.