Of course this happens to me

Chapter 27

"He shouldn't be allowed back today! It's not fair on Isaiah, he hasn't even gotten to settle back in yet," Xan complains as his grip tightens on my hand. I look around the breakfast table and see Orien squirm a little. "He should get a chance to apologise, he wasn't himself," Orien mutters, Will signs for me, my hearing aids arrive tomorrow and to say I'm excited to not have to be signed at when people are talking too quietly.

"Isaiah is the priority at the moment, he was the one who was verbally attacked and harassed by Lex. I know you care about Lex, we do too, but we said we would give Isaiah time, days is not enough time," Will signs as he speaks holding Oriens hand. "I just, I miss him. He was having a time and we weren't there to support him. The state facility his parents sent him to temporarily is not going to treat him right," Orien stands up and turns away heading into the kitchen with his dishes.

"He's in a state facility," my blood runs cold as I say to the others, "where I was was a state facility, one for criminals but that doesn't mean it'll be much better". "He is in a good and safe facility, we have checked it out," Sir says instantly to calm me down, I shake my head unable to stop. "No....no...no...no," I mutter the world going blurry and dizzy before it goes dark.

A hand massaging my arm brings me back into focus. I open my eyes them instantly locking with Will's as he signs 'safe' over and over again. Spencer is beside him holding my hands rubbing them softly to calm me down.

"How are you feeling Sweet?" Spencer asks after a minute or two. I shrug in response not feeling up to talking or signing. "Do you think that has made you at a higher risk for an episode?" Sir signs asking me from over his shoulder. I just look at him and shrug deflating a bit more and shrinking into my chair.

"Do you want to go to bed for a while?" Will suggests after it becomes clear I'm not going to participate in a conversation. I close my eyes for a moment before nodding my head slightly, maybe being in bed would be best. I need to talk to them though, I don't care how much Lex hurt me, state facilities are a no-go.

He would be safe here, I'd tell the others to cop on and be nice, the only one who should be angry is me and I'm not. I am scared instead, but they don't need to know that, Lex can come home and get better with some outside help too and then everyone else will be happy and safe. I wonder what it is like to feel fully safe.

Before I know it I am in my room with Will and Spencer in front of me. "Do you need to be changed?" Will asks me once he notices I'm back in the present. I think for a moment before shaking my head, there is no need I have only gone once, there's a lot more space.

"Do you want to be changed into pyjamas and your ventilator attached?" Spencer asks me as Will wanders into the bathroom. I just nod in response and point to the drawer the restraints are kept in too. He frowns as he sees what I'm pointing at.

"Are you sure? You won't be able to move much," he tells me as he begins changing me into a pair of soft pyjamas. He's not wrong, there's wrist restraints, leg and ankle restraints, a chest harness and one that goes around my waist and diaper holding me down. What he doesn't realise is after downstairs I am definitely dreaming of that place and I will definitely thrash and unintentionally hurt myself.

Will returns once I'm changed and helps Spencer set up the restraints on the bed locking them into place. I turn away, it reminds me of that place, but it's better this way. Soon I'm all strapped in and a blanket is placed over me with only my neck up on show, my ventilator resting on top.

"Do you want company?" Will asks after a few minutes of silence looking at me with hope in his eyes. I turn my head away before shaking my head and looking out the window. They leave soon after and I lay in silence waiting for the memories to attack while I'm at my weakest.