I Did Not Want To Fall For You

31: Ideal man

She laughed too, smiling into the distance. The dancing trees and shrubs, the chirping of birds, and the sweet smell of cashew, it was hard to not believe in the existence of a Supreme Being.
The cool touch of his hand drew her out of her reverie. She stared at his larger hand that covered hers then she looked at him. He was staring at her already. Uncomfortable. She felt uncomfortable at once. His left dimple peeked out, she felt like touching it but her hands were captured in his and the look in his eyes made her incapable of any movement. She disliked it, not being in control but at the same time, she liked it; she liked the heavy pounding in her chest and the thrill that ran through her veins; she liked and disliked it. His eyes trailed down and she followed his line of sight. Her cheeks tugged up and the initial uneasiness faded. His eyes snapped back to hers, guilty.
"Don't say anything," he rushed out.
But she couldn't help it, "you are the one looking at my lips now."
He groaned, his eyes snapping shut. "I said not to say anything."
"Rules are meant to be broken."
"You should know since you break them a lot," he replied, now smiling.
She laughed, "We are equal now. I don't have to feel weird whenever I remember the 'lip' conversation."
He nodded but his eyes remained shut.
"And you don't have to feel embarrassed," she added, smiling cockily.
"I'm not..." he paused, "I'm trying to stop lying."
"So don't lie."
He sighed, opening his eyes but looking anywhere but her face. He shifted a little from her, retrieving the hand that lay over hers but leaving the one trapped between her hands.
"It's just weird," he muttered.
She didn't want to ask him how. She didn't wonder about the moment they just shared, didn't ask him why he stared at her the way he did, didn't think anything into him looking at her lips strangely. Instead, she laughed and let go of his hand.
"You are the one making it weird," she said when she stopped laughing, "you won't meet my eyes and you are obviously nervous. What's the big deal about looking at my lips anyway? I complimented yours the last time."
He smiled at that but didn't face her.
"Yours was different," he said, "yours wasn't a big deal because it wasn't a big deal."
She raised a brow, "am I supposed to understand that?"
"It wasn't a big deal because it wasn't a big deal," he repeated, "but this is different... in a big way, a big deal."
"What big way?"
He finally looked at her, brows high up his forehead. "Aren't you wondering why I did that?"
She shrugged carelessly, "What am I to wonder about?"
He stared at her.
"What?" She blurted out, uncomfortable.
"Or you are just trying to play safe. Why do you think I did that? Why do you think I looked at your lips in that moment?"
"I don't know, I'm not you." She stared back at him.
"But?"
"What am I supposed to say? That you wanted to kiss me?" She snapped.
He blinked, "What... what if I wanted to?"
"That's just weird," she muttered, turning away. She didn't like the turn of the conversation, she didn't like it at all.
"Why is it weird?" He persisted and she sighed. Kaito and his questions.
"Because it's weird," she answered, "why would you want to k... kiss me? Why would you want to kiss?"
"Because I want to. Why do people kiss?" He shot back.
"I meant, why would you want to kiss now? This early in life?"
"Taiwo and Kehinde kiss and a lot of other people... this early in life," he said, "why do you think they kiss?"
"Teenage hormones and because they like each other."
"So?"
"Those things are weird to me."
"Why is it weird to you?"
She flexed her shoulders, "Because it's weird to me. I can't imagine myself doing those stuff."
"Aren't you going to get married one day?" He asked.
"Marriage is also weird."
"Kamsiyochukwu, you are a lot of work," he sighed, leaning back on the tree.
She smirked, "I know, I know. I'm also tired of myself."
He chuckled, "That bad, huh?"
"I can't marry anyone and I mean anyone," she spoke, "those who marry people they've known for just five months or six or even a year, is that enough time to know someone you are going to spend the rest of your life with?"
"Depends," he smiled, "our parents didn't go through such and most of them still have good marriages. So you are saying you can't fall in love in a year?"
"I never said so. I said I can't marry someone I've known for only a year."
"Even if you love the person?"
"There's trust too, you know. Comfortability, respect, admiration, patience..."
"You can't give all that to a person in a year?" He questioned.
"I can, even less but marriage is a whole new level. You are going to be spending, by God's grace, up to 50 years and more with that person and there's no going back, that's the scary part," she told him.
"Why?"
"There are a lot of fishes in the sea, why do I get only one?"
He laughed, shaking his head, "that's your reason?"
"I get tired of people easily."
"Not when you love them."
"I get tired of my family."
"But you are still living with them."
"Not by choice."
He laughed again. She liked that she made him laugh a lot. She smiled.
"But I guess yeah, I still stay with them because I love them even when I get tired. Anyone I am gonna get married to, I must have known and loved them for at least two, maybe three years."
"Why?"
"To make our foundation strong. That trust, connection, and faith in each other would have passed through tests so we can't easily lose ourselves when trouble comes. That's why I like these best friends-to-lovers stories, it's cute and I always admire that friendship. I'll want to be friends with that person first, start small, build the foundation from scratch."
"That's... good," he chuckled.
"Good?"
"You just told me your ideal man."