I Did Not Want To Fall For You

Chapter 45: You want to let me go

"Wo, it's okay," Daniel intervened.
"Hope you brought food?" Kehinde asked, sitting on her lap.
"Yup," She answered, "but you guys will have to share because one plate is specially for me."
And Kaito.
"We'll manage it, no probs," Toyosi said.
She looked to Kaito who was watching them quietly and Nonso who had joined him. She rolled her eyes. They were so similar and yet so different.
She brought out a small bag filled with plastic plates of rice she bought from a restaurant in Osun State. They shared it, two people to one plate but Nonso somehow managed to get one plate for himself and the last plate, she kept for herself and Kaito.
It was dinner time so the class was now empty save for her, Kaito, and Nonso. It was spaghetti, one of the meals that was highly cherished.
She noticed that she had gotten closer to Nonso since the accident. Previously, she just flowed with him as per he was Kaito's friend and he was a part of their group. Thinking of it, it was because of him that she became friends with Kaito.
Apart from them being close as a group, she, Nonso, and Kaito shared a special bond, and then she and Kaito, a more special bond.
"Kaito, you can now sit down," She said to him. He was still leaning against the wall. He sighed and came to sit next to her, on Sarah's seat while Nonso was on Daniel's seat.
Nonso smirked and said, "He is too much of a pretender. He'll pretend like he didn't miss you."
She chuckled while Kaito grimaced. She placed the plate of rice between them and handed him a spoon.
"You have still not explained why you switched off your phone," Nonso said.
She rolled her eyes, "It should be obvious to you that I did it on purpose. What's life without jokes?"
He chuckled, "So you are now using my words against me. Kamsi, you are growing wings oo."
She eyed him, "Come and cut it off. You are just getting to know me."
"Swears, you..." He suddenly jumped off his seat.
"I left my money inside my unlocked locker!" He shouted, already running out of the class.
She and Kaito laughed at him. She watched him run past her window, with him shouting at them not to touch his food.
"Finally," Kaito muttered, turning to her, "Some privacy."
She looked at him confused and blushed when he suddenly pulled her into his arms.
"So that's why you have been quiet?" She asked, her voice muffled against his shirt.
"I hate you," He mumbled and she laughed, "You knew we were going to be worried, you knew I was going to be worried yet you switched off your phone," He scolded and her laughter died down.
"It was just a joke," She said soberly, "Of course, nothing happened to me."
"We didn't know that, I didn't know that. Nobody expected that something was going to happen to me and Nonso."
She fell quiet. Perhaps her joke was too expensive.
"You make me feel too many things, Kamsi. I don't like it," He breathed out.
She blinked, feeling a pang in her chest. "You said you liked it." She reminded him of their phone conversation.
"I am not so sure now," He replied and her countenance fell.
His arm tightened around her. "You don't know how worried I was. You don't know how many emotions I was feeling at the same time, at the thought that something had happened to you. I thought I was going crazy."
"I am sorry," She said softly, regretting her decision but at the same time, feeling glad that he cared so much about her. She never thought that the accident scarred him, that he lived with the fear of suddenly losing someone he loved.
"And then you come back," He continued, "And you are acting so normal, like you don't know the crazy things you make me feel, like you don't feel what I feel."
She blinked back the tears that rushed to her eyes. She remembered crying on her bed during labour time because she was afraid something bad had happened to him. Why didn't she think of that?
"And I hate it. I hate that you are so calm, so in control when I am going crazy. And you keep laughing and playing cool. I hate it. I hate you."
The tears slipped down her face, unto his shirt.
"And I don't know what to do. Every day, there's this thing growing in my chest, leaping higher and higher... for you. It's new and it's strange and I don't know what to do with it and I am scared. I am scared that it's taking over me, I am scared that I am liking it too much, I am scared that you'll take it for granted, I am scared that you'll break me... But most of all, I am scared that it'll stop growing, I am scared it will vanish and I'll lose you."
"Kaito, what are you saying?" She sniffed, her grip on his shirt tightening.
"I don't know," He sighed, "I want... I want to be normal again but I don't want to be. I am scared... of you, of the things you'll do to me but yet, I anticipate it. Kamsi... I don't know."
She shut her eyes, taking deep breaths to calm herself.
"Because I switched off my phone?" She asked softly.
He shook his head, "Because of the things you do unintentionally. Kamsi, I am scared and I..."
"You want to let me go," She interrupted, her voice breaking.
He said nothing and she took it as a yes.