_-*Chapter 45*-_

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Ushijima POV

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I woke in a cold sweat, only to feel my heart drop further upon the realization that Satori wasn't here. Feeling the empty spot beside me, I knew he had been gone for a long while. The sheets were cool, completely lacking the warmth that he gave off.

I sat up quickly and stumbled out of bed, glancing around earnestly, hoping that perhaps he hadn't actually left. Maybe... just maybe.

But that hope was crushed when I noticed the absence of his little pile of clothes and the presence of the messily folded nightshirt on my nightstand.

My breath caught in my throat as I gently picked up the fabric, the folds coming undone easily.

"No..." I exhaled softly, sitting on the edge of my bed, scared I might collapse, "No...Satori."

I buried my face in the fabric, which smelled vaguely of the salty ocean breeze; his signature scent. My heart thudded painfully in my chest, longing to be reunited with him.

I thought of his red hair, his smile, his long limbs, and beautiful eyes. Just thinking of him made me hurt even more. But I can't help it.

It's like receiving the punishment of Tantalus himself. What I want is held just inside my reach, yet when I stretch for it, it withdraws.

I rose quickly, and rushed out of my room, climbing hastily down the trellis and sprinting toward the seashore.

Arriving at the waterline, seeing the waves peacefully crashing against the land and the faint indents of feet, the reality hit me. He was gone. He left me behind.

But as much as I wish I could hate him, I couldn't. I couldn't because it wasn't possible. My heart was tied to his, even if he grew to hate me or found only disgust looking at me; my love would remain.

It frustrated me that I couldn't explain why. But sometimes there is no why.

I collapsed to the sand, a whirlwind of emotions inside me, and screamed. My voice carried with the wind, a song of torment and pain, pain caused by love. The pain that leaves the deepest wounds and hurts the most.

Satori, my love, even if it takes you years to return, I will be waiting. Everyday. Every hour. Every second of my life. I'll be waiting. Because what other purpose of my life is there than to be beside you?

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