The World's Potential- f1/Gymnastics

penultimate.

K.J.H
I take a deep breath in, holding it, keeping it right in my grasp where I can see it; keeping it in my control. My eyes fixated, concentrated on the other corner of the gymnasium floor. My mind rushes with the same repeating sequence over and over, over and over.
split leg double layout... split leg double layout...

I let out my breath. I'm running, again. I'm gaining more and more momentum, I'm chasing. I'm chasing my dream, my hope. My destiny? Everything passed me in a blur. Everything is clear in-front of me, the floor and the corner, the white line acting as a barrier to the unknown. I'm hurting, my body is screaming, my mind too. But in this moment, there's nothing.

My hands make contact with the floor, I push down hard to enable myself to get the best possible bounce and height I need. I feel like i'm flying, my body twists and rotated into all sorts of angles.
stick this. stick this. I pleaded with myself- please stick this.
I needed this to be perfect, not just to qualify for nationals and to represent Australia, but to prove to coach deb i can do this.

I landed on the floor.

I maintained a balance.

I'd stuck the landing. The crowd around me erupted into an applause, cheering and waving. A smile earned its way across my face, all that was left now was some simple moves and my end pose. I continued with my routine, completing another dance section on the floor to fit with my music. My arm is killing me, but the crowd is still cheering. I make eye contact with my friends, who are stood on the sidelines cheering me on. They're smiling- i know i'm doing well.

I'm down to my final moments on the floor. I'm thriving, I can't wait to see coach Debs face when I finish this routine.
That's when it happened. Something so easy went so so wrong. I went to do my final move, a move i've been doing since I was a 5 year old little girl. My arm buckled underneath me, causing me to collapse inwards onto myself while doing a handstand-roll. I finished in my usual pose. The crowd waited, they saw my mistake. Everybody did. Silence fell among the room and I was at the centre of it. I'd never felt so alone in such a crowded room, like the screams inside my head were echoing and people could hear but no one moved. I put a smile on my face, you have to in these situations. I presented to the judges and walked my way to the changing rooms, passing my teammates somber and shocked faces as I walked past. I could hear my name being called, an arm on my shoulder from one of the girls, I'm grateful they wanted to comfort me but all I want now is to go home.

I feel my heart pounding, my head spinning. Thoughts rush in and out. My breathing becomes heavier, but I take no notice. I walk into the changing rooms, practically swinging the door shut behind me. I couldn't believe I did that. Everything was perfect until the penultimate move. I blew it. I'd been working for this for years, my entire life practically. My tears begin to form in my eyes, but i didn't let them fall as ultimately I had to go out for the presentation, even though I knew the results. My chance of winning was gone. I dried my tears with my hands, slightly sneering the excessive makeup that was caked onto my face.

Suddenly, I began to realise how tight my leotard was. It felt like it was strangling me. Ripping at my neck, I begged myself to take in the air around me but the tightness of the leotard gripped me and restricted me completely. The panic began to set in more, the thoughts just flooding my mind. Nothing could stop me, I found myself on the floor against a random locker trying to compose myself. I wanted desperately to get changed into something more comfortable but then again remembered about the presentation ceremony.

My head swivels suddenly towards the door as the crowd could slightly be heard as it opened. Coach Deb entered, her eyes glaring into mine almost as though she was about to murder me and eat me for her dinner. I swallowed my thoughts and hardened my face, not allowing her to see my emotions.