The World's Potential- f1/Gymnastics

apologies.

A.F
After Kera had won nationals, and I had missed it, I was furious at myself. I couldn't believe I allowed myself to not be there at my best friend's proudest moment in her life. It was all because of a boy.

Nathanael came like a gift, he was right there when I needed him most. He was the wrong person, at the right time. As I reflect on every laugh we ever shared now causes a sour feeling to be produced in my mouth, recalling on the bitterness of his humour. But he was so perfect at the time. He'd bandaged my insecurities and my self-doubt, he would make me feel invincible and like no one ever had before. But, he was also bandaging my eyes up to the truth and reality. I was blind.

I was blind to see the manipulation and the gaslighting. I never wanted to accept it, I knew that something was wrong when Pierre and Kera both didn't like him but somehow he pulled me back like a magnet and kept me in his field. He had me wrapped around his finger, holding me, grasping me tightly. I was his puppet; i was a source of entertainment that he could play at any moment and do whatever he said. Because I was naïve to believe he genuinely cared. He gave me an ounce of love and freedom and it felt like a pint. I wanted more and more, so much so that I got greedy. I did anything to keep that feeling of being loved by him. Eventually, I lost myself and my thoughts in the process.

I was a fool to have allowed myself to believe every lie that he spoke from his poisonous lips: every time he told me he loved me, all the times he told me how horrible a friend Pierre and Kera were to me, even the times when he said that he was protecting from them. All the lies, that he'd repetitively engraved into my mind. Ultimately, I believed him.

As soon as Ruby came on the scene, a young upcoming model who seemed to have whisked away his cold heart. It's ironic, really, whenever I spoke of a guy, I would be screamed at. But when a whole new girl comes along he's allowed to be with her all the time.. despite them being 'friends'.

When I opened Instagram to find that Kera had broken her leg, I realised how bad of a friend I had been. I wasn't there for her when she needed me most, and I couldn't forgive myself for that. I wanted to be there but with Nathanael around that was impossible. So, when he began speaking to me less and less I decided I wanted to make my way back to her.

Nathanael went out- most likely to meet Ruby- giving me the perfect opportunity to finally get him out of my life, and be back with my best friends. I waved falsely as he drove out of the driveway of my home, of which he had moved into. As his car drove away into the distance and out of sight, I swiftly began to run up the stairs. Scrambling, I threw his clothes, toiletries, xbox games and controllers and everything that he owned into a large suitcase. Zipping it up, tears fell down from my face as the memories of each item held came flooding back to me. Why did things have to change? What we had was so perfect.

The tears of sorrow soon turned into floods of anger, causing me to drag his suitcase aggressively down the staircase. The thuds from each hit of the steps echoed throughout the house making the paintings on the wall begin to shake. I threw his suitcase out of the front door and onto the gravel driveway. Was I thinking irrationally? Most likely. Did it feel good? Absolutely.

Unexpectedly, his car soon appeared back in the driveway followed by the locking of his car. My heart fluttered with a funny feeling, warning me of what is coming. Quietly, I creeped up the stairs, avoiding the one that makes a creek, and ran to my bedroom, hiding beneath the window. Soon enough, the banging on the door started. The bangs became more and more harsh, followed by an occasional kick as he realised what I had done. Through the window, I could hear his voice shouting to me, but I blocked it out.

'Angie! let me in please'

'Angie, what- what are you doing?'