The Long Lost Black

Birthday Deathday

'Tomorrow then'

That's what he said

Tomorrow. 

And tomorrow was TODAY

It was tomorrow.

Today I'll be taking the mark.

Today, there is no way back.

Today, I am going to be everything I hate being, for the rest of my stupid life. Perfect birthday gift. Thank you very much, no-nose Lord. 

The mood throughout the day was bitter-sweet. It wasn't 'sweet sixteen' as many call the 16th birthday, but it was the first birthday I spend with my family, and maybe the last one too. 

Life is a bitch.

Did I figure this out just now? No! But thanks for proving me right once more. Bitch. 

Being my last day as a no-Death Eater and my birthday, it was a me-day. You don't know what that is? It's when everyone treats you like you are the queen of the entire existence. 

"Well, Elaisa Black, I am extremely honoured to inform you that today is a you-day!"

"I thought that every day of every year was a Sirius-day"

"Well, it should be! Who else is as hot and awesome as I?"

"We have the same looks"

"Yes, but you are not I, are you?"

"Thank God, no. I don't get how you can live with yourself knowing how stupid you are!"

Well, Lord bless them, they know how to light up the numb atmosphere.

Euphemia prepared a huge cake for me. Sweet woman. Loving mother. I own hen a lot. All of us do. James gets his caring nature from her. She welcomed me, Sirius and Regulus in her house, in her heart. She embraced Remus and valued him as a human more than he would ever give himself credit for. 

Obviously, we had only half the cake. The rest of it ended on the floor, on the walls, on us. You guessed right. We had a right -food-  cake-fight. Best thing ever. Better than snogging even. Sorry, Remy. 

The day passed peacefully. We ate ice cream, we played Quidditch. We had an amazing day. An amazing day that I couldn't bring myself to enjoy. Yes, there were moments when my mind trade off and I was truly happy, but I was always on edge, waiting for the Dark Lord to call for me and change my life forever. 

They noticed. Of course, they did. Remus would make sure that he was beside me at all times. Regulus held me close, always being more affective with me than Sirius was. And, of course, Sirius and James constantly tried to get my mind off things and enjoy the day. Tried being the keyword here. But I think that it helped them forget about it, at least. 

"Promise that you won't hate me" I blurted out at some point before midnight and four heads snapped up to me.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't act like you don't know, Sirius! I am taking the mark today and you 'forgetting' about it isn't gonna change it!"

"You are right"

Have I gone mad? Did he just admit that I was right? Merlin, I am gonna cry!

"You are right. It's not gonna change a thing. I am just a selfish little bitch that thought that dealing with my problems by not facing them was right"