Never ending memories - G.Rhee

20

CHAPTER TWENTY || IS THERE EVER A GOOD DECISION?

————————————————————————-

Darkness consumed the room as the sunlight disappeared, Alex sat next to Maggie as the group relaxed for a moment. Beth sung. Her voice bringing a sense of relief to the group yet Alex was still as consumed in her thoughts. she was stuck, stuck in her thoughts. stuck between 'fuck it' and 'what if'

Beth's gentle voice did calm Alex's raging heartbeat, she tried purely focusing on the sounds around them rather than what plagued her mind. when she felt a gentle tap on her arm. looking to her side, Maggie offered a small smile. the farmer's daughter having noticed Alex's blank expression as she stared into nothingness.

Rick walked down the stairs a sleeping Judith protectively in his arms. The sight of her uncle and cousin made her thoughts still for a moment as she smiled. Rick smiled down at his daughter, the love in his eyes strong as he smiled. Alex hadn't seen him seem so content in such a Long time, The way he held Judith, the way he looked at her It almost seemed like no time had passed, Like that was Carl as a baby. a smile tugging at her lips as her eyes shifted to Carl, remembering him as a baby. She was thankful, thankful for Rick, Judith, Carl.. and everyone.. Her eyes drifted to the bottom of the stairs where Glenn sat alone, sipping water from a cup, his eyes glued to Alex.

Glenn's mind had been racing since they'd last spoken, the unknown was what scared him. The fact he didn't know why Alex had reacted the way she had. why she hadn't spoken to him since. his brain desperately trying to figure out if he had done something wrong. 

"everyone's looking for someone to blame" Beth sang, The world making Alex look away from Glenn. rubbing a hand over her face the mixture of emotions she felt something she'd never experienced before. She felt like she was drowning, and no amount of thrashing against the water could help. she was drowning, the overwhelming crushing fear that something terrible was going to happen, dragging her deeper beneath the surface. 

In a world of such danger and uncertainty the main thing, the main person that consumed her mind was sitting across the room from her. As much as she hated it, denying the truth doesn't change the facts.

**

The next morning, Rick, Daryl and Hershel had left the group to speak to The governor leaving Alex and Glenn to watch over the remaining members of the group, Watch Merle. Alex had left her cell with her rifle to go and be on watch.

In all honesty, she didn't trust herself, Not with Merle. the anger she felt each time she looked at him made her blood boil, she couldn't look at him without feeling what she felt in those moments, that helplessness that came with hearing him hurt Glenn. the pain that radiated through her chest knowing there was nothing she could do to help him. or Eli. that feeling, that hurt her more than anything that had happened to her. 

taking a deep breath she continued pacing, up and down the fence the growling of the walkers that prowled behind the field that was once theirs filled Alex's ears as she shrugged off the pain that lingered from her wound before she heard a voice calling her name.

"Alex, you hungry?" Maggie asked as she approached Alex, a small bowl in hand as Alex's thoughts slowed. Her eyes flickered toward the brunette who had been making more of an effort with Alex in recent days.