𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚘 | tׁׅɑׁׅ֮ꫀׁׅܻᧁׁᨮ꫶ׁׅ֮υׁׅ

ೋღ 𝟮𝟱 ღೋ

"I feel like shit." Taehyun muttered, staring at his reflection in the mirror.

it's been two days. Two days since Beomgyu has locked himself inside his room along with Taehyun. Although the older was reluctant at first, but Taehyun forced himself in. The former needed someone with him. To comfort him.

Every passing second was like a hell for Taehyun. Guilt kept stabbing his chest repeatedly. He broke Beomgyu, he used Soobin and he made his best friend mad at him. But his biggest regret, he hurt Beomgyu. And now he's feeling like the most shittiest person ever.

He didn't have any right to blame anyone else but himself for the chaos. He pushed Beomgyu so far without knowing what the latter was going through.  When he heard that it was Beomgyu's deceased mother, a flood of guilt washed over Taehyun. The news gave him a hint of why Beomgyu despises Soobin so much. And Taehyun just triggered him even more.

After washing his face, he exited the bathroom. Beomgyu was still in bed, not ready to face the world yet- or more specifically Taehyun and Soobin. He was like a broken mirror, scattered on the ground. His pieces pricking Taehyun everytime he tried to pick them up.

I read it somewhere and it touched my heart :(

Sighing for the nth time, Taehyun took a seat at his usual place on the bed, opposite to Beomgyu. Guilty wasn't even enough to describe his emotions right now. He tried to put himself in Beomgyu's shoes. How would he feel if someone would've used his mother against him.

The pain of his broken heart was nothing compared to Beomgyu's pain. No matter how many times he tell himself that it was not intentional, the damage was already done. The moment he met Soobin, the moment he invited him and the moment he let him step inside the house.

"Beomgyu..." Taehyun stuttered. "I- You....you must be so sad right now..." What a stupid thing to say. "B-but I am so so sorry... I-I didn't know what I was doing- I was so blinded by the rage of revenge that I didn't even gave it a second thought. I didn't know about your mother and I just wanted to-"

"She killed herself." Taehyun flinced, jolting from the bed to turn towards Beomgyu. The latter was lying on the bed, hands covering his eyes. "Right in front of me. I was- I was feeling so useless." Anyone could hear the sadness in his voice. He was trying to control his tears. He promised himself that he wouldn't cry. The memories that flooded his mind, the gruesome of his mother falling into the pool of her own blood, all of it made him feel like life was meaningless now.

He didn't know why he was telling this to Taehyun. He just wanted to be alone. Each year he would try to drink away his nightmares. Screaming and crying at his own misery and pitifulness. This year, he thought it would be different, going back to office regularly, proposition Isuel, all that just to distract himself.

But his biggest distraction was Taehyun. Their daily arguments almost made him forgot. The sense of comfort he was getting made him want to keep Taehyun even closer. He thought he was getting better, these past few days were going great because Taehyun was with him. Through all good, all bad he showed the latter.

When he heard a simple I'll bear with you a little longer, he knew Taehyun was different. He knew that Taehyun will be able to understand him. And the fact that he stayed with him in the same room for two days constantly, just because of his guilt. It urges Beomgyu to pour out his feelings. The one that he has kept inside him for years.

"Do you think I'm crazy? Violent?" Beomgyu asked. Although his actions were enough to answer, but his reasons were even stronger. He tried to stay away from people during those times, because his emotions would often get out of control and he has heard people call him crazy before. For some reason, he cared about what Taehyun thinks of him. The latter was the man who stayed with him during his good and bad times.

"You're not crazy." Taehyun answered, softly. "You can be rude though, but you have your reasons. As for violent, you throw things around just to vent your anger. You never aim to hurt people."

Beomgyu felt a sense of relief. Taehyun understood him. And for once, he was going to value someone's opinion about him.

"Also, you're not useless."

"l couldn't do anything to save her..." A tear fell from the corner of Beomgyu's eye. "I knew what she was going through yet I left her alone," He needed to know, he needed to know that he could've avoided his mother's death. That she could be with him right now. "That day as I walked through the door, I heard the sound of gunshot, I knew she did it, Taehyun-"

The memories of his mother holding a gun to her temple. Her body falling to ground before him. He was late. The next thing He saw was himself holding her lifeless body in his hands begging her to wake up. The scene kept repeating over and over, so much that it almost felt like it was happening to him all over again.

"I'm not going to say that you could've prevented her death, if you were a minute earlier or if you didn't leave that day. It was her choice, it was out of your hands, Beomgyu. You don't have to blame yourself, your mother wouldn't want that." Taehyun had no clue what he was saying but he spoke anyways. "If she saw you now she would definitely be proud. And most of all she would want you to be happy." He knew because that's all his mother wanted for him and all Mothers think alike, right?

Those words were the last straw for Beomgyu. The red-haired male broke down in tears, one that he was holding in himself for so long, Muffling his sobs in his arms. It made Taehyun's heart broke, seeing someone who was always so uptight and strong, break down right in front of you, it wasn't a pleasant sight.

The younger got up from his seat and sat next to the older, before pying his arms from his face, revealing a crying Beomgyu. Taehyun gulped, controlling his own tears as he cupped the other's cheek.

"Whenever you feel cornered or feel that you can't take the pressure anymore..." He whispered, wiping the older's tears gently. "Just look at me."

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Okayyy I'm back pretty soon!! Did I made you guys cry? No right? It wasn't too emotional 😭 But I hope you like it!

Do vote and comment!!