THORN LOVE

Helpless heart

"Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid."― Fyodor Dostoevsky.

Mile has been absent-minded and disengaged for the past two weeks. He didn't want to make Porsche uncomfortable, so he didn't ask what happened during their last meeting; he wishes he hadn't let him go like that. He was plagued by the thought that something might happen to him. He repeatedly called and texted him, but was met with silence; he checked his phone repeatedly, hoping for a response from him, but there was nothing. He briefly considered the possibility that Porsche was deliberately avoiding him and didn't want to meet anymore, but he dismissed the idea since he couldn't imagine Porsche ghosting him like that. He was so perplexed and anxious that he couldn't concentrate on his work. When his thoughts became too much to bear, he sought solace at his friend Lin's workplace.

***

"Who's the lucky guy that stole your hearts?" Lin asked. Mile has been in his office, scrolling through his phone with a despondent expression, his fingers tapping on the screen. "Enough with the phone. If you keep staring, it might just blow up,"

Mile's eyes were glued to his phone screen, oblivious to his surroundings. The mere thought of reaching out to Porsche again made him uneasy, unsure if he could handle another rejection. Despite everything, his concern for him remained; all he yearned for was to hear Porsche's voice and ascertain that everything was alright.

"Enough already!" Lin exclaimed. "Who is she?"

"He, not she," Mile answered anxiously, his voice betraying his nervousness.

"Okay, who is he?" Lin gave no thought to the fact that his friend might be interested in a guy. Love is love, regardless of gender, for him. Lin assumed that the person in question was female, as Miles had only been known to date women.

Mile set his phone down and turned to his friend. "Can I ask you something?" Mile asked.

Lin gave a nod, showing he was listening.

"You coincidentally met someone and had a genuine connection.You become friends, but why do you think that person will suddenly ignore or avoid you?"

"Are you talking about a friend?" Lin asked with a grin on his face. He could see that Miles was completely lovesick. "You mean a friend that is going to be more than a friend? Or maybe a friend who's more than a friend already?"

"I don't think he can be more than a friend," Mile responded, his voice laced with disappointment.

"As long as he's not married, it can become one. You're quite the catch, my friend," Lin said with a smirk.

Mile shifted his gaze away, avoiding eye contact. Lin was left dumbfounded and speechless when he was met with complete silence. "He is married? No way....there is no way you will.....Really?"

"Don't get the wrong idea. No one is falling for anyone here," Mile said quickly. He's confused about his feelings. Porsche is just his friend. He constantly reminded himself that he is a married man. Although he thinks his husband is a scumbag and doesn't deserve his love, they are still legally bound in marriage. Despite everything, he simply wishes to have Porsche by his side and make him happy; he wants nothing more than to see his smile return and never again witness his sadness.

"Don't fall for someone who's already taken. That's totally unacceptable," Lin warned. He's uncertain about the veracity of the situation, but he doesn't want his friend to be in that circumstance. "So, he is just a friend?"

"Yes, a friend," Mile assured. He can't stop replaying the same phrase in his mind.

Lin's phone interrupted their conversation, and he quickly excused himself to check on a delivery he was expecting.