THORN LOVE

Nemesis

"Revenge, the sweetest morsel to the mouth that ever was cooked in hell." ― Walter Scott,

~

Porsche remember!

One could easily see the signs on him: the distant attitude, the piercing and fiery stare, the internal turmoil, and the unceasing fight to remain composed. He precisely knew when things changed, but he believed it won't come to this. Maybe he was grappling with a false belief, trying to convince himself otherwise.

Nonetheless, Kinn clung to hope. Hope is the entirety of what he has.

The first time Kinn knew was when he saw Porsche without the bracelet. Porsche never took off the bracelet. He remembers the sheer joy on Porsche's face when he presented him with the gift.

His second enlightenment came when he caught sight of Porsche on his motorbike. His surreptitious dead of night escape divulged that Porsche was farther away than he wished to admit.

Thirdly, his smile betrayed him. His smile was forced and insincere. And what confirms it is the way Porsche's body immediately tenses up whenever he touches or comes near him.

Kinn was scared as Porsche slipped away from him slowly.

The memory of their time at the vacation house was imprinted in his mind, like a photograph that he never wanted to fade. Even though Porsche's mind seemed elsewhere, he still found solace in being by his side. He just wants to take care of him, but sometimes he's unsure of how to do so.He hopes that his sincerity can serve as evidence of his profound love for him.

Ever since Porsche said they will have family, he has been immersed in designing a playroom and playground for their future children. He knew it was silly, but he couldn't resist the urge. Perhaps it was his way of nurturing a flicker of hope. But he knew now that it wouldn't matter anymore. Somehow, he knew it was merely dream.

"What's on your mind?" Tay inquired, joining Kinn at the bar. Since early evening, Kinn has been in the bar, simply drinking. "It's been some time since I saw you with alcohol, what's changed?"

The bartender placed a crystal-clear glass in front of Tay, who poured himself a a bourbon.

"They say live a little, so here I am," Kinn replied, his voice filled with sadness. "Where is your bodyguard?"

"Is it about Porsche" Tay asked, ignoring his question.

With a shake of his head, Kinn finishes his whisky in one gulp, feeling the fiery burn in his chest. He reached into the pack and pulled out a cigarette, its tip glowing as he lit it. The ashtrays, packed with numerous cigarette butts, testified to his extensive smoking. Kinn's fingers trembled slightly as they brought the cigarette to his lips, releasing a plume of smoke into the air. Perhaps it was alcohol and cigarettes that he needed to maintain his sanity.

"Kinn, talk to me,"

"Po...my husband is fine. He is....he is getting better...... better!... He is....he is fine. We are fine. I am fine. Everything is fine,"

Kinn took another hearty gulp of his drink, and set the glass back down with a resounding thud. Deep down, he longed for reassurance that everything was fine between them, his heart aching with the desire.

He kept drinking all night, even though Tay tried to stop him more than once. Kinn's silence spoke volumes to Tay, who knew that all his friend want is comforting presence rather than words. He also couldn't help but notice how Kinn's eyes kept darting to his phone every now and then. At first, he thought he was simply glancing at the clock, but as time passed, he realized it was more than that.