All The Love Songs About You - Englot

Chapter 25: Men are Assholes

Saffron's POV:

It's been three months since I started dating Easton, and everything feels just right. He's everything I'm looking for in a partner - cute, funny, and passionate. But deep down, I know the real reason why I'm drawn to him.

Every time I look at Easton, I can't help but think about Erynn, They have the same easy smile, the same relaxed disposition, and a shared passion for music. I've tried to push that thought aside, but it creeps up on me whenever I'm around him.

Maybe that's why I'm so infatuated with him. Erynn was the love of my life, my first real relationship, and it still hurts when I think about what we had. But here I am, starting something new with someone new, and it feels like I'm betraying her.

Erynn, even after 8 months still occupies my thoughts. I still miss her, no matter how busy I get or how distracted I am, I still find a split second to think about her. I still couldn't shake the feeling that she was the one I was meant to be with.

The truth is, I'm using Easton to fill the void that Erynn had left behind. Easton is a musician, like Erynn, and there were moments when he would say or do something that reminded me of her. I tried to ignore it, and told myself that I was just happy to be with someone who actually makes time for me.

At first, I though he was charming and funny, and I was drawn to his infectious energy. But the more time I spent with him, the more I realized that he was nothing like Erynn. Not to mention, there were some red flags here and there, like when he would only talk about his music and barely ask me about myself. But I brushed it off, thinking he was just passionate about his craft.

As time went on, I realize I can't keep living a lie. I knew I had to be honest with him. I couldn't keep leading him on, pretending that everything was fine when it wasn't. I owed it to him to be truthful, no matter how much it hurt.

I felt guilty for leading him on, but I didn't know how to break things off without hurting him. I was scared of being alone, and I didn't want to face the fact that I still love someone who might never come back to me.

But every time I thought about ending things, I feel like a terrible person. Easton had invested so much time and energy into our relationship, and I felt like I was just throwing it all away.

——————-xx—————-

Not knowing what to do, I dialed Madiha's number, feeling a wave of anxiety wash over me. I needed to talk to someone, someone who would listen and understand. As the phone rang, my heart pounded in my chest, and I could barely catch my breath.

"Hey, Saffron! What's up?" Madiha's cheerful voice greeted me on the other side of the line.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself before plunging into the heavy topic that weighed me down. "Hey, Madiha... I need to talk to you. It's about Easton," I managed to utter, my voice shaky and filled with an undeniable sadness.

"What's going on?" Madiha asked, her voice laced with concern. "Are you okay?"

The words stumbled out of my mouth as I poured out my conflicted feelings. "I think... I think I want to break up with Easton, but I feel so guilty about it. He's a good person, you know? He genuinely cares for me, and I don't want to hurt him."

Madiha listened patiently as I poured out my heart to her. I told her about my mixed feelings towards Easton, and how I couldn't help but compare him to Erynn. I talked about my fears of being alone, and my worries that I was making the wrong choice.

Madiha didn't judge me or try to tell me what to do. She just listened, offering supportive words and gentle reassurance.

There was a brief pause before she responded, her voice gentle and comforting. "Saffron, you can't base your decisions solely on guilt. You have to think about your own happiness too. It's okay to prioritize yourself."