You're The One ~ Ellie Roebuck

Chapter Twenty Seven ~ Wrong Person

I guess I should try to explain this sudden fear of mine. I've never been one to trust how I feel or even know how I feel. Despite not having the worst family in the world, we were never the lovey dovey type and that often led to me and my brother feeling out of the loop. There was never any bad blood in the family, but me and my brother never felt completely appreciated or loved either.

This mistrust in myself only grew when things with Aaron went wrong. After my whole life of not knowing what love felt like, I thought I had found it. But, when he turned on me, I realised I had been a complete fool to think that little old me was able to be loved. Aaron was the time that I decided I would never say those words again until I really knew, which of course brings us back to now, with Ellie.

Saying those words to Ellie felt different to me, but was that a good thing? or was it different because in my head I had this lingering fear of not knowing anything about love? The closest thing I had to love was Sammy, she'd made me the person I was today but not even a miracle worker could get rid of the fear that was eating away at me from the inside. Whenever I think of Ellie, It starts happy, I think of all the messages she has sent me, the little surprise dates we would go on... then it would turn dark. I'd think about what would be thrown away if it turned out that what I was feeling wasn't true, and I'd panic, ending up ignoring her for almost a day before I collected myself once again.

With the World Cup growing closer and closer, I had to make a decision. Let her go and protect her from the whirlwind in my head, or keep her close and risk hurting her, just like I did before.

remember the self destruction?

Now i've explained my whole life story, let me get back to now.

Me and Ellie finally finished up with unpacking and started our journey down stairs. Unconsciously, I began my distancing process when we left and I failed to grab her hand. leaving her trailing behind as we walked. Then, when we saw Leah, I jumped on her back and left Ellie even further behind us.

The meeting seemed to drag and I was left there to zone out, getting lost in my thoughts. That's before I was pulled out of my trance.

"you good over there?" Leah nudged me. With a quick nod and a smile, I brushed her off and focused back on Sarina at the front. Once the meeting finally came to a close, we began to walk out but I was pulled in a different direction to where the girls were walking, soon realising that it was Leah who was guiding me to somewhere.

Ellie's POV!

Finally seeing Tara again was like a breath of fresh air. we had spent a lot of the relationship over phone calls and the odd date every time one of us could get away and see the other. But, ever since we got here, Tara had been off with me. She'd failed to tell me she loved me, or that she missed me and she never held my hand on the way down. but for now I brushed it aside and carried on as normal.

Her constant zoning out in the meeting did worry me but again, I brushed it off, not wanting to think too much of it.

"anyone know where Tara is? I've lost her?"I asked as I sat down for dinner, earning a few shakes of heads from G, Keira and Alex.

"Leah isn't here either so maybe they've gone somewhere?" Keira said. What that could be doing I didn't know, but just like with the other things, I pushed them to the side and carried on talking with the rest of the girls.

Tara's POV!

"what's going on?" Leah asked as we entered an empty corridor.

"What? nothing why?" I replied, technically, nothing was wrong right now and I'd only zoned out once but Leah is Leah and she knows as soon as something is wrong, guess that's why she makes such a good captain.

"Tara talk to me, what were you thinking about?" she pushed and I signed, wondering whether to do the clever thing and tell her before my thoughts spiralled.

"there's nothing Leah," I decided to lie and tried to walk away from the blonde. Leah caring this way caused my thoughts to spiral more. This feeling of being cared about scared me, I didn't trust someone to actually care, not after Aaron.

"Tara do you think i'm stupid?" she grabbed my hand and pulled me back, "do you think after watching you grow up, knowing almost everything about you, that I'm going to believe you're okay? because i'm not," she said, raising her voice a little as an attempt to get through to me.

"LEAH!" I said, bringing my hands to my head, her hand jerking away from my arm. "LEAVE IT, PLEASE!" my voice was raised, I needed her to know that this wasn't a good time but by the looks of things, I had hurt her.

"fine, I'll be here when you're ready," she said sadly, walking around me and out of the corridor. Again. Again I had self destructed and hurt someone else. With a sigh, I walked out the corridor and turned in the opposite direction, deciding to return back to my room.

Ellie's POV!

Soon after, Leah returned but there was still no sign of Tara. Leah's face was pale and bland, making me think that maybe something bad happened.

"Hey," The blonde said, taking a seat beside Keira and putting her head on her shoulder. Me and Georgia both gave each other a look that said 'where's Tara then?' before I decided to speak up.

"Have you seen-"

"I think she's gone to the room," Leah bluntly replied before I could finish asking her. "might want to check on her, clearly I'm not the right person," she said. That was enough for me to stand up quickly and basically run back up to the room.

little did I know, I was completely the wrong person.

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I'm really scared that this is like really dramatic lols, I just needed some drama and didn't know how to work it in, but please tell me it's not like over the top and pathetic😭hope you're still enjoying it