Divergent souls || 2

Five

CHAPTER FIVE ⇆ ROWAN
For every minute you're angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
I read that somewhere, I don't entirely believe that it was the root for my current change in personality that Angelina seems to hate so fucking much, but it played a part.

I lied, it actually didn't.

It just felt great to act a bit philosophical in my own mind, "I'm taking a shower." Angelina nearly yells at me as she snatches a towel and disappears inside the bathroom.

I smile, but moments pass and my face slowly falls, the mask slipping off, Truth is, people accept you so fucking much when you're not yourself, quite literally, which is why that smile is plastered across my face most of the time.

Not sad, not angry, not furious, not self-loving generally, when you're at your lowest it's usually when you're the most surrounded by people, however, I don't think that Angelina thinks with that aspect.

She doesn't understand the concept of people pleasing, she doesn't get why it's necessary for people to feel validated by other's opinions and reactions on their own.

Most people-pleasing people hate the trait, but it's not a switch that is easy to turn off, however I've been slowly finding my way out of it, and I'd be lying if I said that being close to—my friends if that's what I'm calling them didn't help.

Elias and Silas are like the same person, just one is calmer, and the other is more aggressive, Other than that, they agree to almost every single thing, but that's not the point I'm discussing.

It's the fact that being surrounded by people who don't actually care about others' opinions is quite calming more than I thought it would be, We're not similar, we don't fit, our lives are different but fate put us together.

And I believe that everything happens for a reason, even if that reason is a painful realization.

It's mostly a lesson though.

No matter how much I want to deny it, you uncontrollably do get affected by people surrounding you, by your family, your friends, and your lover, it happens subconsciously without even noticing it.

And while I'm not really looking out for people's opinions like I used to, I still care but it's not as severe, fucking thankfully, the thing is, I bet Angelina doesn't even know that.

She sees the same image I plaster for everyone, the loud spoiled rich brat, women surrounding him here and there, it's easier that way, you get what you want even if internally you're losing yourself.

She still knows that this isn't who I actually am, but that's all she's aware of, she doesn't know what goes on in my mind, my heart, my fucking life, and I don't expect her to.

It's just a bit annoying that she views me as that shallow useless kid, Why does her opinion specifically matter? Sure I care but it's not about a single person's opinion, it's mostly about how everyone views me generally, I don't focus on one person like that.

But I care about Angelina, I always did and always will even if she doesn't realize that.

And slowly I realized that my attraction towards that woman is getting stronger and stronger, sometimes it gets so fucking unbearable to the point where all I can think of is her.

Those big piercing green eyes that find mine anywhere like that time I went to her show, her curls that fall perfectly around her face, defined and nourished, her slender frame filling each piece of cloth perfectly, she is stunning, watching her is a sight to behold itself.

And what made this even more breathtaking is the fact that Angelina is aware of it, she's confident and prideful, and she holds her head high, knowing that she's on top of the fucking world.