Forbidden And Forsaken

24

Unfortunately Germany had to eventually admit that he was at least a little bit gay. Just a little bit, not a lot. He just liked man tits okay!

And if he specifically like Prussia's man tits, well that wasn't anyone else's business.

But who was he kidding, of course it was. As Third and Weimar "kindly" pointed out one sunny February day, they knew all about inappropriate crushes and how to deal with them.

So here he sat, on the floor surrounded by pillows, having a lesson on romance like a schoolgirl. 

"Listen, if anyone knows about having weird and uncontrollable crushes, it would be me," Third assured him. "I once had one on my boss of all people!"

Germany's mouth gaped open, "you had a crush on your boss? As in, the funny mustache boss? As in the 'invading all of europe while high on meth is a good idea' boss!?"

Third flushed in embarrassment, "yeah, that one."

Germany gaped like a fish for a few moments before looking rapidly between the two brothers, "knowing your track record with inappropriate crushes, I don't even want to know how that one ended up." He suppressed a shudder.

Third took a drink of whisky (where and when did he get that?) and grimaced. "He's not that good if you know what I mean."

Germany and Weimar simultaneously gagged.

"Honestly that's worse than fucking your brother," Germany had a disgusted look on his face.

Third nodded solemnly, "and my brother actually knows how to fuck."

"That's enough hearing about your sex life with he who shall not be named," Germany gagged again. "Hand over the whisky, I wanna forget all of that."

After they were all sufficiently less sober than an hour's previous, they dived right back into the conversation.

"So, Prussia? Not a bad catch if you ask me," Weimar mused. "Unlike my brother here's crushes," he added, muttering. He still recieved a solid smack for his words.

"I do NOT have a crush on him! That's weird!" Germany blushed scarlet.

"Mhmm, look who you're talking to," Third rolled his eyes. "Now, as the kids say, spill the tea!"

"Well, first off I'm not gay," the other two scoffed at that, shushed with a glare.

"But he just has pretty nice tits you know? For a man, I mean! And a nice jawline and pretty strong looking biceps. His abs are to die for as well," Germany quickly got lost in his fantasy.

"Soooo," Weimar began, "which one of you is the girl?"

"What?" Germany looked at him confused.

"Well, it's just that that sounds pretty gay to me," Weimar deadpanned.

Germany huffed and burried his face in a pillow. 

"I'm not gay!" Came the muffled reply. 

"Sure kiddo, just bi with a heavy penchant for men," Weimar rolled his eyes.

Germany glared over the pillow. Weimar and Third laughed.

"You're not getting out of this," Third teased.

Germany's shriek was muffled by the pillow as he flopped over onto his back. He muttered something unintelligible.

"What's that? Use your words," Third continued, biting back laughter.

"In the unlikely instance I have a crush on a certain old man, what does that mean for you guys?" Germany blushed, not looking at them.

Weimar blinked. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"It's clear you have some sort of interest in me, if that Christmas incident is anything to go by. So if I were to go after Prussia, wouldn't you be mad?"

Weimar and Third held a silent conversation before turning to answer. 

"No, we wouldn't be mad at you," Third sighed. "Obviously we wouldn't be jumping for joy but this is your choice, you didn't want us and we accept that."

Germany mumbled something else into the pillow.

"Germany stop doing that," Weimar scolded.

"What if I didn't exactly refuse you?"

Third and Weimar stared at the younger nation, mouths agape. Germany peeked at them before getting up to leave. Weimar's brain resumed functioning at seeing him opening the door.

"We'd have to discuss what that entails," he quickly rushed out before the younger could leave. Germany froze momentarily, then clicked the door shut.

"What do you think it would entail?" Germany asked cautiously.

"That would be up to you," Third finally got his wits back. "Are you looking for romance? Sex?"

Germany gulped, "I'm not sure. I'm still trying to get over the whole incest thing."

Weimar and Third exchanged yet another silent conversation.

"You don't have to decide today, we won't do anything until you come to us first," Weimar said finally.

---

It was Valentine's day and Germany didn't know what to do. He was crushing on his own family and some of them were okay with it. So why didn't he just go for it? He'd already begrudgingly come to the conclusion that he was at least bisexual, so that problem was solved.

But it was still his family. His rather hot family, mind you. He wanted to scream so he did. 

"Why can't I just be normal," he lamented, throwing his pillow across the room.

His mind began to drift, individually assessing each of the members of his household.

There was first of course his father. The man who because of his stupidity, had led Germany to have a not so secure upbringing. How he wished he could put the man down a peg or two and crush that ego of his. 

Then there was his uncle whom he considered an equal of sorts. They had a similar mindset and sense of humor. They weren't exactly a bad match he mused.

He couldn't forget Prussia either. The man could run his mouth a million miles a second and his habit of forgetting his things in the strangest of places (such as that one time he left his book in the sink of all places) never failed to amuse him. His rather androgynous nature made him incredibly attractive.

His mind wandered further, to his grandfather. The man could also use a knocking down a peg as well, maybe not in the same way as his father though...

Germany groaned as he realized that his thinking about all of them had lead to an impromptu erection. 

Why can't I be normal for once?