Jezebel |h.s|

Thirty Nine

Isabella

Laying on the floor of my bedroom, I stare up at the ceiling. Rory got excited when I first laid down, eager to give me plenty of kisses, but she's calmed down now and is laying next to me.

I just don't understand why he hasn't called. Two whole days and I've heard nothing. It's not like I haven't tried to reach out, I have. He just doesn't even open my texts or answer my calls.

One second I'm in Italy putting his kid to bed and the next his wife shows up and I'm completely shut out.

I've been too scared to even go to our apartment. That, plus then that would mean telling Kat that it exists and I'd rather not admit to having a place with him where we could have sex without running the risk of his wife showing up.

Was I too naive? Did I put too much trust in him? Miss the signs? What do I do now?

My heart hurts when I think about him. Especially when I think about Ottie. Tomorrow is her dance class and I'm not sure I'm ready to face her or Harry yet. Great, now I'm scared of a three year old. I just don't want to hear her gush about how her mom came back for her.

Of course, I'm happy that Adriana got the help she needed and that she's ready to be a better wife and mother. I'd never wish for anyone to get postpartum depression, not even my worst enemy. Now they get to try again, and clearly Harry was holding out hope that she would come back if he never even attempted to file divorce papers.

I want to hate her. I want to see her as this monster that just wanted his money and left her daughter as an infant because she wasn't going to get money. But I just can't. She wasn't even angry that Harry had an affair. She apologized for her mistakes. She seemed like the complete opposite of what Harry described.

Harry and I met at a strip club. We met when I was at my lowest and he could have easily taken advantage of me. He used my situation to get me to sign his sugar daddy contract. God, he probably has it down to a science. Pretending he never had a sugar baby before to get girls to agree. I mean, he's twelve years older than me, I probably should've realized sooner.

I want to throw up just thinking about him in that way. It's not the man I've come to know. He was always so gentle and kind, it couldn't have all been an act. Did he learn from Christian's mistakes to gain my trust and get me in his bed?

And now that his secrets have been revealed, he's ghosting me.

At least I have money.

Kat peeks into my room, causing Rory to perk up in her spot. "Hey, need anything?"

I sigh, turning my head to look at her fully. "I need to drink."

She sighs and walks in, sitting criss-cross next to me. "I know, Bells. He still hasn't called?"

"No. God I feel so stupid. I should have realized sooner-"

"Isabella, he told you they weren't together. He twisted the story, you had no reason not to believe him. There was no way you could've seen this coming."

My head shakes. "I'm so fucking stupid." Tears well in my eyes, but I try my best to keep them from falling. "If he was honest with me from the beginning I wouldn't have cared. But now..."

"Now you have feelings for him." She finishes for me. Those words hit me in the chest like a bullet. "It's okay to admit it, Bells. You don't let people in, but you let him in. That's a big deal."

"I was an idiot. I should've never told him those things. I should have never-"

Kat takes my hand, holding it gently. "Isabella. You weren't an idiot. Don't put yourself down over this."